Time is a fascinating concept to me. I’ve written about it before, but it just seems so arbitrary sometimes. It amazes me how we can suck at it so badly that we have to add an entire extra day every four years to keep our system going — and no one really bats an eye.
We break things up into millennia and centuries, decades and years, months and days, hours and minutes and seconds. Not satisfied with that, we break up groups of months into quarters, which, if nothing else, allows for orderly American football and tense times for businesses that report to stockholders.
I can’t beat the system here. As much as I’d love to live away from time and all its constraints and limitations, it appears as if I’m stuck here in a society that values it and adheres to it in equal measures of strength.
So without further ado, here’s my Q1 report from my “One Hundred Intentions for 2022” list!
On Target
Lots of things are either done or on target to being done. Let’s review.
No. 1 — Go on 52 dates with CC: We have, indeed, gone on a date every week of this calendar year. I value these times to reconnect with Wifey Poo. We live busy lives, but I’m grateful for the time we take to be “just us” every week. It makes us better spouses, yes, but also better parents and better people.
No. 2 — Go to a Yankees/Cardinals game: I am a life-long Yankees fan, having grown up an hour from The House The Ruth Built. Wifey Poo is a life-long Cardinals fan, being a St. Louis regional native. Our teams play in early August and, thanks to the players and owners working out their differences, the tickets I bought Wifey Poo for Valentines Day remain valid.
No. 5 — Go to a concert: Music is my thang, and the f’n pandemic killed live music for a while. I’m making up for lost time. This summer and fall, I will see, if all goes well, Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, Shinedown, Jewel, Gin Blossoms and perhaps Evanescence. Rock on’, yo.
No. 11 — See license plates from all 50 states: Though the end of the first quarter, I have seen 44, which puts me on pace to see 176 different state license plates and is a lesson on why you need to be careful with statistics. Living near I-70 has helped. Going on a few road trips has been a great assist. I’m imagining I’ll be able to find Connecticut, Nevada, Rhode Island, Vermont and West Virginia in the next nine months. It’s Hawaii that worries me.
No. 16 — Go to Ikea: Insert whatever the Swedish word is for “done.”
No. 20 — Go to a stand-up comedy event: Wifey Poo and I went to see Tim Allen in March. He was… meh. Very meh. We’re going to see Sebastian Maniscalco later this year, and Tom Segura is coming into town. I’d love to see him.
No. 23 — Go to a WLW wrestling event: So Harley Race was a badass wrestler from the 1970s-80s. He ran a wrestling promotion near where I live until his death a few years back. His son now runs it. Though this didn’t happen in Q1, Boy The Younger and I went this past weekend to Race Arena, which is really just a small warehouse with a roof so low that off-the-top-rope moves took on a different kind of risk than I’ve ever seen before. There were maybe 75 people in attendance. And it was awesome.
No. 24 — Start a collection of something: I began collecting CDs (see No. 5). I love music. And CDs were the pinnacle of sound quality. So I’ve started an eclectic collection that features Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Metallica, Bob Dylan, Marcus King, Evanescence and the Eagles. Recommendations are always welcomed.
No. 30 — Get Uber Eats delivered: Nothing like some Buffalo Wild Wings left on your doorstep when the family is out of town and you don’t feel like cooking.
No. 31 — Go to three new restaurants: Wifey Poo and I went to an African restaurant called Chez Ali, a really cool diner-type place with friends we met in Indianapolis called Rosie’s Cafe and, for our 25th anniversary, an amazing seafood place called Splash in Des Moines, and yes, despite being in Iowa, it truly was an amazing seafood place.
No. 36 — Read five books: This one was a matter of redemption for me. I used to be beyond an avid reader. Then Longhaul Covid turned my brain into mush. I can’t exactly describe what it’s like to try to read with such a brain, but the feeling is kinda like when you’re trying to get the top off of something and, no matter what you try, it just … won’t … budge. A neurologist recommended I push through that feeling as a way of helping my brain rewire itself. And it’s working! I read three books through Q1 (Blaze, by Stephen King; Heavier Than Heaven, the biography of Kurt Cobain; and Klara and the Sun), and just finished Stephen King’s The Institute yesterday. Now I’m onto Dave Grohl’s new book. Suck it, Covid.
No. 37 — Play Dungeons and Dragons three out of every four times the party plays: This had been another Longhaul Covid casualty. Just when I had reconnected with some high school acquaintances and begun slaying dragons, my brain turned to mush and, aside from reading problems, long periods of exposure to technology was horrific. So I stopped. Now I’m back, and I brought Boy The Younger with me. We completed one adventure in February and have started a new one. I’m now a half-orc barbarian with major rage issues. Seems about right.
No. 40 — Get a bottle of bourbon that’s on the “best of…” list: I bought a bottle of Woodford Reserve Double Oak Barrel and, I must say, it’s delicious.
No. 42 — Create a college football bowl pool with a traveling trophy: I did exactly that and the trophy was won by … Boy The Elder’s girlfriend? She was not much of a sports fan at all until she started dating BTE. Now she’s the champion of the tournament.
No. 43 — Start The Waffle House Fantasy Baseball League: So there are lots of leagues out there in fantasy sports in which the winner gets a trophy or money. I don’t know how many there were in which the loser has to spend 24 hours in a Waffle House and is able to reduce the time by an hour for each waffle consumed, but there’s now at least one.
No. 47 — Pick up a freelance marketing side gig: So I love what I do. I love writing, designing, videography… whatever. I had a nasty habit for a while of doing what I love to do and am good at doing for free. While nice and friendly, that doesn’t help my finances. So I let it be known I was in search of a side gig and landed a few in Q1, including a side job for my boss, a one-off in which I designed a flyer for an early learning center and an ongoing one in which I write articles for Northwestern University to help attract students to its masters programs.
No. 51 — Get new pants that fit: Having pants that don’t constantly threaten to fall down around your ankles is a good thing, I think we’d all agree. As part of my battle against Longhaul Covid last year, I completely switched up my diet to remove any and all foods that could cause inflammation. In the process, I lost 30 pounds. This year, I bought new pants to celebrate my less-fatness. Two pairs are in hands. A third is now somewhere out there in a DHL warehouse or truck making their way to me. Thanks Indochino!
No. 54 — Get a monthly massage: This one almost fell by the wayside in January. If not for a last-minute appointment, it would have. Now I have a great new massage therapist who is amazing to talk to and who, every month this year, has worked out the various knots and kinks that plague my neck and back.
No. 55 — Do a float every quarter: If you’ve never done a float in a sensory deprivation tank, you should. Yes, I know you feel like it’s closed in and scary. Try it and take deep breaths. For me, it’s a necessary thing, I’m finding. As an extreme empath, I’m constantly bombarded by other people’s crap. Locking myself in a chamber of warm salt water that promotes effortless floating and is completely dark and quiet is an amazing way to disconnect and just be.
No. 60 — Keep my new healthy eating habits and maintain my weight: See No. 51, above. I have had some day-to-day fluctuations — it appears I can gain or lose 5 pounds in a day based on what I drink or don’t drink — but I’m still below where I need to be below.
No. 64 — Get into and stay in the 99th percentile in Lumosity: So yeah, a lot of things on my list this year had to do with saying “fuck you” to Longhaul Covid. This was one of them. As part of my “retrain my brain” efforts, a doc recommended Lumosity in addition to reading. At first, the games killed me. Then I started to heal. Now, I’m in the 99.4th percentile for my age group overall. Suck it, Covid.
No. 65 — Take care of a pet: The original intention here was to watch someone’s dog or lizard or something. Then we got it in our minds that we were somehow ready for a new dog. I had been staunchly against this in the wake of the deaths of both my dogs in 2020, within three months of each other. Wasn’t 2020 a great year? Anyway, that all changed when we saw our Luna, an English bulldog who’d been used up as a breeding dog by some asshole who deserves a throat punch. She’s slowly coming around to the reality that people are good and love her. And I do. A lot.
No. 72 — Give an anonymous gift each month: What I’m learning is that, in this day and age, it’s tougher to stay anonymous. Still, I’ve been able to thanks a college friend, a work colleague and my middle school English teacher.
No. 73 — Create a screen-in-porch oasis: Another one not totally finished until April, but it’s finished now. May the creator of allen wrenches forever be damned to have blisters from turning his infernal creation! But the porch furniture is assembled and this past weekend I put together a mobile TV stand and hooked a TV to it so I can wheel it out and watch baseball on nice spring/fall afternoons.
No. 74 — Create with BTY his new bedroom: Doing this Q1 review has made me realize I put a lot of stuff together this year. And this is amazing, considering there was a time in which I felt totally incompetent with things like this. Now, I feel like I could put anything together. BTY has a completely updated bedroom — less like a child and more like the teen he soon will be. I put together his bed, his dresser, his nightstand, a fish tank stand and installed three shelves. This came after painting the walls (with his and Wifey Poo’s tremendous assistance).
No. 83 — Write my own obituary: I don’t want anyone else telling my story when I die. First off, I don’t want anyone to put in any bullshit like “He was loved by all who knew him.” My own sister hates me, and my mother ain’t too fond of me either. And there sure as hell are some former work colleagues who aren’t going to be sending me any Christmas cards of the non-ticking variety. I made a first pass at writing this and it’s technically done, but I wrote it when I was kind of angsty and should probably revise and soften it a bit.
No. 88 — Watch season 5 of Better Call Saul: Damn, I love that show. And I loved Breaking Bad. The fact that the latter is over and the former is heading into its final season makes me sad.
No. 90 — Watch a classic film from the 1940, 50s or 60s: Wifey Poo and I watched Casablanca for Valentine’s Day. The intention was to have a crowd, as part of No. 61: host a monthly movie night, but that plan didn’t work because I apparently have no one living within 50 miles of me who thought my planned movie night worthy of their time in January, February or March. Still, it was nice to watch it with Wifey Poo. Great flick, great date.
No. 98 — Make an anniversary video for Wifey Poo: We celebrated our 25th anniversary in March. I made her this. Ladies, if you’re looking for romance, marry someone who knows Adobe Premiere Pro.
No. 99 — Rent a Jeep for Wifey Poo to drive for a day: Wifey Poo loves Jeeps. We currently drive piece-of-shit Nissan Versas because we’re poor and love good gas mileage. Someday I will buy her a Jeep, but for now, renting one to take on our 25th anniversary getaway brought a smile to her face. Speaking of which…
No. 100 — Plan/go on a 25th anniversary trip: The original plan was to go to Alaska this summer, though Wifey Poo didn’t know that. When things didn’t happen as I wanted them to with my job soon enough, I pivoted and creating something far less adventurous but far more sentimental. We went to Des Moines Freaking Iowa, back to Drake University, where we met. Back to Roseman Bridge, where we got engaged. Back to Drake University club hockey, where we had our first date and where, this time, I arranged with the team to be at their practice and for them to surprise her with flowers and a team “happy anniversary” wish. It was awesome. A lot has changed since our Drake days (1992-96), but one thing that’s stayed the same is us. Always us.
This is how I invited her:
Probably Not Gonna Happen
Ahh, if everything could be going as swimmingly as the items above. Alas, this was a list of intentions, not a list of things I definitely was going to do. Some things probably aren’t going to happen. A few definitely won’t happen. Let’s discuss.
No. 39 -Take enough photos to have a Photo of the Week for 52 weeks: I love looking at the world through a camera lens. I love capturing moments from that world. I just live in a very small world and am pretty boring, which makes finding interesting photographs a challenge. Or I’m just plain lazy. Whatever.
No. 58 – Go to restorative yoga 52 times: I love restorative yoga. I love my little yoga studio. But perhaps going, on average, once a week was a little ambitious. Weather canceled some classes. BTY’s sporting events, my round-two battle with Covid and other situations led me to skip out on a few more. Fifty-two ain’t happening. But some is better than none, and I’ll keep going.
No. 59 – Meditate daily: If you’re picking up on a theme here, you’re not alone. These highly time-bound items are killin’ me, Smalls. “Daily” was perhaps ambitious. Of course, “not meditating at all for the first two months of the year” was perhaps lazy and stupid. March saw me get into more of a routine, and now I’m approaching something like four or five days a week. But daily? Pshaw. I should have known myself and my own affinity for ignoring self-care better.
No. 61 – Host a monthly movie night: My long-standing battle with not having friends is a thing. I thought this would help alleviate that. I would invite a shit-ton of people I kinda sorta knew, and at least a few of them would show up for some fun and entertainment. In doing that, maybe one of those folks would turn into an actual friend. Yeahno. Not one person RSVP’d to January — and then Covid invaded my house and it was canceled anyway. February came and went with no RSVP’s. March was successful only in that BTE and his girlfriend came, but they’re not exactly friend material. So screw it. You don’t want to come? I don’t want you here. (And you wonder why I don’t have friends?)
No. 77-82, 84 – Writing stuff: I had grand plans to do a lot of creative writing this year. It’s not happening, though it’s for a good reason. It’s because I’m getting paid to spill words out, as I mentioned in No. 47. That said, I’d like to do at least something creatively. I have started a few short stories. I’m real good at that — starting stories that never get finished. We’ll see what happens.
No. 94 – Take an improve class: I love comedy. I have been someone who makes people laugh ever since I was a little boy. I think I could perhaps do something with comedy to make more people laugh. So I put this on there because I know of a place where improv happens and where they’ll teach you how to do it better. That said, the thought of actually doing it, of putting myself out there like that, terrifies me. So I say this probably won’t happen, but in reality, it really should. I mean, at the very least I can laugh at myself.
So there you have it, the Q1 update on the List of One Hundred Intentions For 2022. I’d say I’m fairly happy with where I am. Q2 has started off well. Let’s see what happens.
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THE DAILY UPDATE It’s a quiet Tuesday in Foristell, Missourah, my hometown of the past several years, though it wasn’t quiet about an hour ago. That was when I left my Humble Country Abode and started my commute southeastward toward the people who pay me to put letters into words and words into sentences and…
Decorations — December 8, 2025
THE DAILY UPDATE It’s a quiet Monday night in Foristell, Missourah, my hometown of the past several years. I’m writing this by the glow of, yes, my laptop, but also the lights on the Christmas tree I decorated today, of the faint illumination coming from the little city of tiny homes I constructed around it,…
Bad Curling — December 7, 2025
THE DAILY UPDATE It’s a quiet Sunday in Foristell, Missourah, my hometown of the past several years. The clock ticked us over to Sunday about 15 minutes ago. Welcoming Sunday has been a newish thing for me, now that I’m in a curling league whose Saturday matches don’t start until 8:45 or so. That GIF…
Humbug — December 5, 2025
THE DAILY UPDATE It’s a quiet Friday in Foristell, Missourah, my hometown of the past several years. Our recent cold snap continued this morning, and I stood outside Picasso’s coffee shop in St. Charles for about five minutes, waiting for 7:30 a.m. to arrive so I could get inside and start working. It seems odd…
Wrapped — December 4, 2025
THE DAILY UPDATE It’s a quiet Thursday in Foristell, Missourah, my hometown of the past several years. It wasn’t so quiet yesterday afternoon. My phone began vibrating like a woman’s nightstand drawer, if you catch my drift, with texts from people sharing their Spotify wrapped, which had just dropped. This is my first year on…
Chiffon — December 3, 2025
THE DAILY UPDATE It’s a quiet Wednesday in Foristell, Missourah, my hometown of the past several years. It’s cold … the kind of cold that makes a person think about the life decisions that steered him away from warmer locales. Me personally? I chose this life. Give me cold that turns your cheeks red and…
Beef Broth Incident— December 2, 2025
THE DAILY UPDATE As basic truism in life is that the overwhelming majority of those who think you should never keep a secret from your spouse have never been or are no longer married. I will be married 29 years in March, and I have learned that though there are many things that should not…
Puzzles — December 1, 2025
THE DAILY UPDATE I’m not sure where I stand on the possibility of intelligent alien life. The only thing potentially more disturbing on a variety of fronts than the existence of others who match or exceed our supposed intelligence is the possibility that there is nothing else except us anywhere in this incredibly vast universe.…
Helen — November 30, 2025
THE DAILY UPDATE It’s next to impossible to think and be good at sports at the same time. I learned that lesson long, long ago while playing baseball. If I went up to the plate thinking about my stance, my swing, where my feet needed to be, where my hands should be when the pitch…
Proud Parents — November 29, 2025
THE DAILY UPDATE We were about five minutes into a 20-minute drive when Wifey Poo, seated next to me in the Nissan Rogue, said, “Ya know, if your parents weren’t so whacked, they would have been really proud of you, to see all that you did yesterday.” The comment caught me a bit off guard.…
Your Drunk Friend — November 18, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Bible Thoughts📖Bear Fights🐻The World I Know🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE Most of us of a certain age have had the pleasure of being around that drunk (or high) friend who has it all figured out. You know who I’m talking about … the guy (or girl) who states the most bizarre things…
ABCDEWTF? — November 10, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Nice Sweatshirt🫣Wedded Bli$$👰Everything🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE By now, I should never be surprised by the sheer stupidity I see when I venture out in public. That stupidity is one of the reasons why I rarely look forward these days to venturing out in said public. Yet Saturday, I was surprised, and…
Finish Line Hellscape — November 3, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩XC Crazy🏃♂️Avocado Freshness🥑Perfect🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE Imagine this: Toronto dadbod catcher Alejandro Kirk rolls a busted-bat grounder to short that turns into a World Series-ending double play, just as it happened Saturday night … except instead of touching off a jubilant on-field celebration, the play leads the victorious Los Angeles Dodgers…
Mystery Money — October 30, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩PayPal🤑Dying Dream🔥America Burning🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE You will excuse me if I’m a tad sensitive when I see mysterious activity in an account linked to my bank or credit card; I have, after all, been hacked twice this calendar year and had to spend considerable time undoing the damage caused by…
DDD — October 29, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Doom💀Ants🐜Mad World🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE In today’s Daily Dose of Doom: Fun times, people. Fun times. From News-B-Nuts: (Sign up for free email delivery today!) While our fearless leader treats those not from this country like ants, there are real ants not from this country to worry about. Asian needle ants are…
Dear God … — October 28, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩A Letter🗒️Reliable Cars🚗Hair🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE Dear God, Like … WTF? I mean, seriously … WTF? I understand that one of the most enduring features of humans throughout our existence is our relentless pursuit of figuring out what … this … is all about. Similarly, I understand that we really, really…
Restorative — October 23, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩The Quiet Self🤫Swiss Wealth💰Broken🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE Her name was Sarah, and I knew how she was feeling. I heard her attempting to stifle tears as our restorative yoga class neared its end last night. This was her first time attending, and I’d never met her before. Still … I knew.…
All Mail — October 21, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Old Email Treasures✉️Dog Addicts🐶Crow & Butterfly🐦⬛🦋 THE DAILY UPDATE Anyone who has a wife who is as big a fan of true crime as mine is knows that just because you delete something doesn’t mean it’s gone. Many a murderer awakens behind bars on this fine fall morning because he or…
Concessions to Aging — October 20, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Old man👴Battery Chips🔋Sludge🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE Age is just a number, you’re only as old as you feel, and blah blah blah blah. There are lots of sayings that try to make aging seem like it doesn’t suck. Weed through the psychobabble, and here’s a simple truth: It does suck. Hard.…
Twelve Steps to Sandra — October 15, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Bullock Betrayal🎥Uranus🌌Dyfunctional🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE Hi. My name is John. And I don’t like Sandra Bullock. “Hi John.” It has been 22 hours since I last said I didn’t like Sandra Bullock. Taking a cue from Boy The Elder, who is involved with a workplace movie club that ends their team…
Whims Of Fate — October 14, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Fickle God🌩️Old Man Heat🌞My Son🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE Life is fickle. This I know better than many. There was a time I believed that a Creator God had His Holy Hand on every facet of my life, guiding all that happened and that would happen, that He knew me and had…
Body Count— October 13, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Anti-Group⛔Movie Meltdown🎥One Of Us🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE I have long had trouble with groups. Largely, it’s because there are few groups I want people to associate me with when they consider the worst things they have ever done. Maybe … maybe … I was OK with my Little League teams, but…
Barf Sport — October 10, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Cross Country🤮🏃♀️Happy Coffee☕Stride🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE I’m not sure how long my current non-barf streak is, but I know it’s long — perhaps longer than at any point in my life, and, knock on wood, we’re just at the start of a streak that would make Cal Ripkin say, “Damn, son…
Eyeglass Racket— October 9, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩New specs🤓Designer Babies👶Clearly🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE I’m pretty sure that if I had lived during those long-ago early-human times, I’d have been dead a long, long time ago. I was thinking about this while at the eye doctor yesterday. I had to get glasses in third grade, and my vision has…
Chaos — October 8, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Teetering😡Starbucks Sinkhole☕Mosh🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE Bad stuff happens amidst chaos. When things are or seem out of control, people’s decision-making abilities are proven to falter. Good, kind, law-abiding people in the middle of an unruly crowd are known to do horrible things they would never do on their own. I’m pretty…
Cowboy Hell — October 4, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Nebraska Adventure🚴🚴🚴Sleeping Roaches🚴Against The Wind🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE To be honest, I have no idea which of the three women I am traveling with is most responsible for the fact that I awoke this morning in someplace called Stuart, Nebraska, a town so small that it make my former Small Town…
Standardization — October 3, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Commie Correctness🪆Zero Road Deaths🚒Winds of Change🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE These are dangerous times to say what I’m about to say, but I’m gonna say it anyway: The Commies had it right. Now before you get your Pro-Trump panties in a bunch, know this: I am well-versed in why Communism not only…
Fat-ass Reprise — September 30, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Accidental Cursing🤬Heart Rot❤️🩹Civil War🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE I didn’t mean to curse in front of the nurse. Honestly, I didn’t. It’s just that when I saw the number on the scale she innocently asked me to step upon, I was surprised. And so “Holy shit!” was immediately followed by me clasping…
Bonus Son — September 27, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Engaged💍Good Cars🚗Institutionalized🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE I have been blessed for many years to have a bonus son. Matthew is the boy of our neighbors when we lived in Ohio, the son of Wifey Poo’s best friend and Boy The Elder’s early-life best friend. He was a regular presence in my home…
Robo-John — September 26, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Inspire🤖Bad Food🍪Alive🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE We have an interesting relationship with the human/machine hybrid. For example, when Obi Wan Kanobi appears in ghost form to tell Luke, “Um, yeah … sorry I lied about that whole daddy thing,” he says of Darth Vader nee Skywalker … “He’s more machine now than…
No-Show Jesus — September 25, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Late Savior📖Dead Romance💔REM🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE Once again, Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has disappointed, failing to show up despite telling one of this most ardent supports that he was coming back. South African pastor Joshua Mhlakela has claimed for months that God’s Only Son personally revealed to him that he…
Flying Fly — September 24, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Travel Buddy🪰Sleep😴Swinging🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE There was a fly on my flight from Washington, D.C., back to the STL on Sunday. This made me wonder how confused that fly would be when he got off the plane. And before you say “Flies aren’t capable of confusion,” are you really so sure?…
School Debauchery — September 23, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Freaking Fox Lane🤯Math Zap⚡Swinging🎶 THE DAILY UPDATE I spent the weekend hanging with someone I knew in high school who had become a friend later in life. This was the second year of a Dudes Trip in which we go to a baseball game at a different park. Last year was…
Censorship — September 22, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Shhhh🤐Maria🎶Free Speech🤐 THE DAILY UPDATE As a high school senior, I served as the sports editor of the Fox Lane Forum, the school newspaper of Fox Lane High School. But on the day a kid named Jason flung a chair across the basketball court while play was still going on before…
Planes, Trains & Automobiles— September 20, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Travel Log✈️Maria🎶Free Speech🤐 THE DAILY UPDATE I awoke this morning in an Airbnb in Baltimore, Maryland, a row house in the shadows of Camden Yards. At least … I’m pretty sure that’s where I awoke. I understand there are people out there for whom transcontinental travel is the norm. I am…
The AI Conundrum — September 17, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Making Myself Jobless?💔Voices🎶Good Cancer😕 THE DAILY UPDATE Want to know a secret? I’ve used artificial intelligence to write an article for a client. Not only that, but I didn’t tell my client I wrote the article. Depending on who you are, your reaction is somewhere between “And …?” and “YOU FRAUD!…
San Diego’s Homeless — September 16, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩The Least of These💔Voices🎶Good Cancer😕 THE DAILY UPDATE I’ve been in San Diego since Saturday, hanging out with Wifey Poo for a few days in advance of the Content Marketing World 2025 conference that apparently has brought half the continental United States to learn more about writing and producing stuff. We…
Saying Goodbye — September 12, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Giving Up On Hope❤️Hesitate🎶Eternal Sunshine🌞 THE DAILY UPDATE A few days ago, I wrote about Hope. In understanding that the hope I was holding for change and resolution in a situation that has pretty much defined most of the past six or seven years of my life was causing me a…
Free Speech — September 11, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Charlie Kirk 😔Sludge🎶Claims🤥 THE DAILY UPDATE I’ll be honest: Until he was shot and killed yesterday, Charlie Kirk was not on my radar. If you had asked me, “Who’s Charlie Kirk?” I would have said, “An NFL wide receive who used to play for the Jaguars.” Of course, that’s Christian Kirk,…
An End to Hope — September 10, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Shawshank❤️Shinedown🎶Eternal Sunshine🌞 THE DAILY UPDATE The 1994 film Shawshank Redemption, based on the short story by author/god Stephen King, is about many things but none more so than hope. The concept of hope bubbles up throughout the movie and provides the framework for its conclusion, partly illustrated by the GIF above…
1980s Rom-Coms — September 9, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩The Lloyd In Me❤️Mannequin Song🎶Eternal Sunshine🌞 THE DAILY UPDATE Having done most of my growing up in the 1980s and polishing off my teen years in the 1990s, today confuses the hell out of me when it comes to romance and love. Yesterday, I mentioned Lloyd Dobler from the movie Say…
Love the Niche — September 8, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Sumo/Curling Connection🥌Eyes🎶Danced🕺 THE DAILY UPDATE I grew up in the Lloyd Dobler era, which means I believe deeply in the power of the boombox to overcome all sorts of relationship and cultural differences and in the beauty of niche sports. To quote the wise soothsayer from Say Anything: “What I’ve been…
Fire & Ice — September 7, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Burnin’ n’ Curlin’🥌Live Again🎶Fraud💻 THE DAILY UPDATE Yesterday was a day of temperature extremes for me. I spent the morning burning the second half of a huge pile of limbs and brush I’d cleaned up in the spring. Little known fact: When you move to Missourah, you are issued a huge…
No Hiccups — September 6, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Medical Marvel🩺Black —>Blue🎶Good Cancer?😮 THE DAILY UPDATE Here’s an odd fact about me: I haven’t had a case of the hiccups this millennia. No one — no doctor, no non-doctor, no AI — knows exactly why, but the last time I remember having hiccups is 1999. And the only significant health…
The Ugly Things — September 4, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩A Writing Project🖊️Cold🎶Wildfire🔥 THE DAILY UPDATE Life isn’t pretty. I’m not sure when it was that I learned that, but I know it is true. No stage of my life can be considered anything other than “how the sausage is made,” and for those who haven’t seen sausage made, it is…
Hacked — September 3, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩blinkies-karaoke.com😠Fast Car🎶Fall🍂 THE DAILY UPDATE First, an ear update from yesterday’s plight. Fear not, loyal reader. I am back among the two-eared hearing. What came out of my ear during the ceremonial cleaning ritual I did over my bathroom sink was unholy and the stuff of horror movies. We shall never…
What? — September 2, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Deaf👂Fast Car🎶Sports Wednesday⚾ THE DAILY UPDATE I can’t hear. Or, more specifically, I can’t hear out of my right ear. And it’s making me cranky. As the one regular reader of this drivel (Yo, Kim) knows but probably forgot because who in their right mind would actually commit this to memory…
Sad Anniversaries — September 1, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Jacob😢Sludge🎶Curling🥌 THE DAILY UPDATE August 30th marked the 25th anniversary of the day my life changed forever. On Aug. 30, 2000, Wifey Poo and I went to what was supposed to be a routine ultrasound for our first child. We were so excited. We were going to get to see our…
Pedophile Bus Driver — August 28, 2025
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Don🚌Can’t Remember🎶Pizza Date🍕 THE DAILY UPDATE I’m not sure when I realized that my elementary school bus driver was probably a child molester, but it was long after my time at Pound Ridge Elementary. His name was Don, and I can picture him as good today at 51 as I could…
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