Hey Yo.
My name is Paul Magnotti, but da fellas call me ‘Pissed Off Paulie,’ probally on account dat I’m always pissed off at tings. Wanna know what pisses me off? Well you’re gonna find out.
Tings Dat Piss Off ‘Pissed Off’ Paulie Magnotti
School Supplies
Ya know what pisses me off? School supplies. So I was walkin’ tru da depahtment store da otter day lookin’ for a birthday caad for my girl Alice. Her birthday is comin’ up dis Satuhday, and I wanted ta get her a nice caad to go wit da present I got her. So I pick…
Bumpa Stickas
Ya know what pisses me off? Bumpa stickas. Der I was da otha day, drivin’ down da street in my sweet-ass 1981 yellow T-top Camero, mindin’ my own business and listenin’ to some Pantera, when alls of a sudden, like a bat outta hell, dis frickin’ Maazda comes flyin’ by me and den cuts into…
Fur Babies
Ya know what pisses me off? Dees numbnuts who say dat der dogs or cats are der “fur babies.” Gimme a frickin’ break. So I was walkin’ down da street dee udder day with my girl Alice, and I see dis woman pushin’ a stroller. Now, Alice is fine, lemme tell ya, but dis woman?…
Speed Bumps
Ya know what pisses me off? Speed bumps. Der I was da otha weekend, up in the country with my girl, Alice. Me and Alice, we was drivin’ around up there with da cows and da horses and all dat clean air, and we was gettin’ a little, shall we say, amorous, if ya know…
Gas Pumps
Ya know what pisses me off? Gas pumps. What gives gas stations the right to take up my precious time with questions I don’t wanna answer? I come here for one purpose and one purpose only, and dats to get gas. Well, that and to use your john if I’ve eaten a few lunch-time hot…