Worshipping Sam — February 15, 2025 – John Agliata

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩
Bread🥖
Long Way🎶
Alcohol = Cancer🍺

THE DAILY UPDATE

Sam died a noble, sacrificial death, not from any mistake of his own but rather because of my incompetence — and perhaps my neglect.

They say a man shouldn’t have a child at 50, aye, but I did, a creation of my own hands that I cared for over lo those two weeks before throwing his odorous corpse directly into the outside trash can, lest the kitchen garbage grow befouled with his stench.

Sam was my sourdough starter, a lofty goal for one who has baked but twice or perhaps thrice in his entire life. The act of creation, like that for human children, was quite enjoyable … easy, in fact. But once again like a human child, raising that creation proved much more difficult.

Sam was incredibly needy. He needed new flour, new water, and to have his waste removed and put into other containers that Wifey Poo would then transform into some crazy granola concoction that actually turned out quite tasty.

Alas, Sam did not.

I created Sam at a bad time. But then again, is there ever a good time to create a child? Is anyone ever really ready for the responsibility?

No, say I. But I was very not ready for the responsibility that came with creating Sam. Having just returned to my day job after surgery leave and in the midst of an overwhelming basketball season that saw me coach more than 6.299,019 games in just three days, Sam did not get the attention he deserved, the attention he needed to stay alive.

And so when I attempted to turn Sam The Sourdough Starter into Sam The Sourdough Bread, well, let’s just say there was a failure to launch. The dough Sam was lovingly worked into sat there and … did nothing. It didn’t rise. It didn’t crawl or walk or go to prom or tell me it hated me. It do anything except be sticky, somewhat stanky dough.

I have learned a lesson from Sam. Right now, bread made with Fleischmann’s active dry yeast is rising in a warm place, as directed. The laundry room, if you’re really interested, and why wouldn’t you be? Why shouldn’t you be?

From start until rising, my investment was about 45 minutes rather than the weeks and weeks and weeks Sam took.

A man, I believe, must know his limitations, and though Sam had to suffer and die from my incompetence and neglect, much like Christ himself had to suffer and die for our sins, I am a better man for it.

All rise and worship Sam. May we remember the sacrifice He made so my hopefully yummy Italian bread can be ready by tonight.

Something I’m grateful for today: Stay-at-home make-a-Traeger-pizza Valentine’s Day date with Wifey Poo tonight while Boy The Younger is working at Chick-Fil-A serving up God’s Chosen Chicken.

Something I’ve (ghost)written: New Cancer Warning Spotlights Alcohol’s Mortality Risk

Song of the Day: Long Way, by Antje Duvekot

Meaningful lyric from the S.O.T.D.:

North Montana was cold
She keeps her secrets frozen
Under glaciers way up north
People have got lost up there
In the home of the grizzly bear
you can ask the mountain
But the mountain doesn’t care

Something good from today/yesterday: A fun Valentine’s Day pizza-making date with Wifey Poo

Something I’m looking forward to in the next seven days: The next night of my DnD campaign as DM, next Saturday.

Fat-Ass Update:

Starting weight: 230.6 on 2/12/25
Goal weight (for now): 199.9
Today’s weight 225.9, (-4.7)
Fat-ass burn-off remaining: 26.0 fat-ass pounds

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Worshipping Sam — February 15, 2025

THE DAILY UPDATE

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