Salmon Journey — August 2, 2024 – John Agliata

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩
Long Way🎶
Annoying🪳
Mating Journey🐟

THE DAILY UPDATE

Three Little Things To Notice and Be Grateful For:

Successfully completing an iPhone software update.
Walking sticks.
Smooth rocks.

Pursuit of Wordle Godhood: Today’s result: Three! That’s two days in a row. And I almost nailed this at two.

Wordle 1,140 3/6

⬜⬜🟩⬜🟩
🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Pursuit of Connections Godhood: Today’s result: Five. Took me a bit.

Connections
Puzzle #418
🟩🟨🟨🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟨🟨🟨🟨
🟦🟦🟦🟦
🟪🟪🟪🟪

The song in my head when I woke up today: Long Way, by Antje Duvekot

Aug. 1: I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, by U2

Favorite line from the song in my head when I woke up: We didn’t know who we would be/We didn’t know where we would end up/When we headed down that road

COVID Tunes: The only thing I’ve done is fall asleep trying to listen to Small Town Murder podcast episodes.

Something I’m looking forward to today: Maybe getting out of the house. Isolation ends!

Something I’m looking forward to in the next seven days: Feeling back to normal.

Something I’m grateful for from yesterday: Starting to get my sense of taste back.

What I’m writing: Yesterday’s two crappy pages involved a story for a Johnny Boy Marketing client about when it’s a good idea to go to urgent care to get checked out for a sexually transmitted illness.

What I’ve written: Top 5 (More) Little Annoying Things That Can Ruin Your Day

Knocked on my arse by COVID, I have spent a lot of time watching mindless television of late. Yesterday, in between naps #3 and #4, I happened upon a YouTube livestream from a nature camera set up by a river in a national park in Alaska.

For 15 minutes, I watched as salmon struggled to swim upstream and jump up a waterfall, all so they can get to wherever it is they originally came from and do what salmon do when a boy salmon falls in love with a girl salmon. Or something like that.

I’ve been on some rough road trips in my life, but the one salmon take absolutely sucks. Have I mentioned that they are swimming upstream against a damn-strong current and that they have to jump up waterfalls? If there is a creator God who made this the route salmon have to take just to keep the species going, I’d say said creator God was having an off day. Either that or he was drunk of his heavenly ass.

But the whole upstream/up waterfalls thing isn’t the worst part of the trip. Oh no no. The worst part are the motherflippin’ bears that stand right at the base of the waterfall as if it were a McDonald’s drive-thru. In the span of 15 minutes, I saw maybe two salmon actually make the leap up the waterfall to continue on their way. Meanwhile, I saw at least 10 orders of Salmon McNuggets get filled for the bears.

My thought was this: It’s a damn good thing this isn’t a journey humans have to take to reproduce. Men are far too lazy to swim up anything that is actively working against them, even if there’s the promise of nookie at the end. And if you put actual predators along the way? Well, there’s nothing wrong with staying in any playing Call of Duty for another few hours, is there?

So here’s a shoutout to all the salmon out there. May your trip upstream be successful and bear-free.

Would you please help a brutha out? I’ve created a weekly eNewsletter called News-B-Nuts in which I’ll be sending out news nuggets and witty commentary to subscribers. If you can, would you support this endeavor for just $5 a month via Patreon?

Salmon Journey — August 2, 2024

THE DAILY UPDATE

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