Media Landscape — Jan. 6, 2023 - Johnny Boy Marketing

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩
Grace Ashford! 📰
Idaholy Shit! 🥔
Story of the Year! 🍆

The three most influential people in my life as a journalist are, sadly, all part of the Great Newsroom in the Sky now. Professors Michael Perkins and Bob Woodward (AKA Bob Woodward-Not-That-Bob-Woodward) helped educate me at Drake University, and Lisa Warren was the best editor of the Dayton Daily News’ Southwest Ohio papers who ever lived. All taught me how to be who I was as a journalist, which was a tough, fair, attentive, engaging reporter/editor who didn’t make excuses.

Which is why a podcast I listened to yesterday made me think of the rather disgusting phrase, “rolling over in his grave.” I’d rather not think of these Stalwarts of Newspapers’ Past doing any such thing. But you’ll get the point.

I give credit to the podcast, The Daily, for asking the tough question after New York Times reporter Grace Ashford discussed how she and colleague Michael Gold uncovered the many, many, many lies of Republican Congressman-elect George Santos. The Daily is run by The New York Times, so having Ashford on could have been seen as a pat on its own back, if not for the question: So why didn’t you do all that work before the election? Ya know, when voters could actually have used the knowledge to have it shape their choice of whom they wanted as their representative?

George Santos is an idiot, liar, moron, et al. The fact that he hasn’t resigned due to pressure from his own party is a sign of not just modern-day Republicanism but modern-day politics. Yet Ashford’s answer made me want to reach through my car stereo system and punch her in the face in honor of the Triumvirate of John’s Journalism Gods.

Ashford — a freaking New York Times journalist, not some ratty-ass weekly like I used to run — took a modicum of the blame, rightly stating that papers don’t have the resources they once did. Then she spent most of her time answering the question by placing blame on the Republican and Democratic Parties for not vetting the candidate enough.

Excuse me? Really? A journalist of The New York Freaking Times is saying that politicians didn’t do their work for her, which is why her paper didn’t uncover the easily discoverable lies of a candidate who, among other things, made up huge swaths of his education, work experience, finances and heritage to grab power by, as he put it, inflating his resume like we all do. What the actual fuck?

Ashford said the Republicans didn’t vet their own candidate thoroughly enough. She then said that the opposition research provided by the Democrats did, indeed, point out some of Santos’ bullshit, but it focused more on his Jan. 6 (by the way, happy anniversary, Trumpeteers) statements and other things that didn’t involve massive lies. She then went on to say that, though The New York Times, has “New York” in the title, it is now more of a national paper and that there aren’t as many resources dedicated to local news.

Except the election of federal politicians isn’t local news. As much as Congressionaloids act in the supposed best interests of their local constituencies (hardy-har-har on that one, folks), they help shape federal policy. I mean, dude … do we need to look at the old video of How a Bill Becomes Law most of us saw sometime in elementary school?

Schoolhouse Rock RULES!

Many moons ago, Father Dearest and I were talking about the decline of newspapers. This was back when I still was in the industry. Very Nostradamus-like, I told him that the death of the newspaper was a bad portent for the nation because it was the newspaper journalist, not the TV “news” person or any sort of blogger, that kept government corruption in check.

“So you think there will be another Watergate situation that goes undiscovered?” Father Dearest asked.

“Maybe, but it’s far more likely that the unchecked local, state or Congressional politician will get away with a whole host of bad stuff because that’s where newspaper journalism is rotting the quickest and the most,” I replied.

And so it has come to pass.

Perkins and Woodward would have rightly flunked me in any of their classes if I said a good reason for not getting an important story was because an involved party didn’t spoon-feed me the information. Lisa Warren would have fired my ass — and then made sure no newspaper within in 50,000 miles hired me. And she’d been right to do so.

These days, Ashford gets to go on the most popular podcast in the land and have stories written about how influential her coverage was at uncovering such a huge story. The problem is, that influential story doesn’t mean shit because there’s nothing that says being a huge douchebag liar disqualifies you from serving as a Congressman. Probably, the general assumption was that all Congressionaloids would one day be huge douchebag liars. Who knows?

The result is that an most important seat is occupied by a man who just might be a criminal beyond being a lying asshole — and he is essentially protected. The Republican majority is so thin and the seat in question rests in such a split district that there’s no way the leadership, if one is ever chosen, will push him out. They’ll keep him off committees, sure. They won’t sit at his lunch table. But unless there’s a huge swing to the Right that gives the GOP a safer majority, Santos ain’t going anywhere.

And that’s the fault of political reporters such as Ashford and once great newspapers such as The New York Times. The former Moron In Chief likes to talk about fake news. He’s an idiot and no one should give anything he says a second of thought. It’s unreported or late-reported news like this that is really part of Muricah’s inner rot.

Ashford ended her spiel by saying that Santos himself was to blame for her failing at her job. How could anyone believe, she said, that someone’s whole life would be a lie? Because he’s a politician, Grace, and because it’s your job.

Since we’re talking about the media, let’s keep that bus rollin’. I read with interest the coverage of the release of the probable cause affidavit that led to the arrest of Super Crazy-Eyed Alleged Killer Bryan Hamburgler Err Kohberger. As most know, he just maybe probably massacred the four students who now are known only collectively as MadisonMogenKayleeGonclavesXanaKernodleButSometimesKernoodleandEthanChapin.

First off, there was this little fun fact reported by a TV person from an Idaho news anchor: In describing how a student who just came back to campus wasn’t there when the murders happened because he was studying abroad, she said that he has strong feelings about the case, even though he was, and I quote, “hundreds of thousands of miles away at the time.” Where exactly was this kid studying abroad? The Earth itself is only 24,901 miles around. The moon is roughly 238,000 miles away. Does the University of Idaho have an interstellar program instead of an international program?

Anywho, more interesting to me is the fact that one of the surviving roommates, at around 4:15 a.m., allegedly saw the killer wearing a black ski mask as he exited the residence. He allegedly walked right past her. Frightened, she went back into her room and locked the door.

And then didn’t call the police until roughly noon.

Huh?

I know she might have been drunk. But she was sober enough to get out of bed and open the door. Seeing an intruder in a black ski mask walk right by you would have the general effect of sobering a person up toot-sweet, I would say. So what’s the deal with the delay? It’s an unanswered question news people have been slow to ask and that, as of this writing, I haven’t seen explained.

Also, there’s this creepy tidbit: A security camera some 50 feet away from the victims’ home picked up what was described as a thud and a whimper around the time the murders allegedly occurred. What the fuck, people! That means that camera had the ability to pick up a whole lot more before there was any stabby-stabby stuff going on there. George Orwell’s 1984 was just a few decades early.

I regularly see surveillance footage that helps catch bad guys that makes me cringe. Why are there so many cameras and listening devices everywhere? It’s all done in the name of keeping us safe, and it does help protect us from the bad guys — or at least lead to the capture of the bad guys who harm us.

But it’s all uber-creepy, and it’s sad that not many people actually raise a hand and say, “Um … guys?”

Finally, the last question I have is where the other bodies are buried. I find it hard to believe that a dude who did what Hamburgler allegedly did didn’t do something sorta-less gross beforehand. Starting out with a quadruple homicide in which the victims were stalked and the crime was so violent and planned is definitely in the go-big-or-go-home camp. Where else has this dude traveled and lived? I’d definitely be interested in cold cases in those areas.

The First Sermon of the No-Dick Church

What follows is an excerpt of the sermon delivered by Pastor Q.F. Conseco of the No-Dick Church on July 3, 2022, from his home outside Escandido, California. Good morning and welcome to the first-ever meeting of the newly created No-Dick Church of Hellhole Canyon, California. Verily, I welcome you and hope you are enjoying our…

Media Landscape — Jan. 6, 2023

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