Hanging On — August 13, 2024 – John Agliata

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩
Stitches🎶
Real Mom👩
Tough Times😔

THE DAILY UPDATE

Three Little Things To Notice and Be Grateful For:

Rain.
Long dreams.
Fun socks.

Pursuit of Wordle Godhood: Today’s result: Four. Getting that last letter really helped.

Wordle 1,151 4/6

⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨
⬜🟩⬜⬜🟩
⬜🟩🟨⬜🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Pursuit of Connections Godhood: Today’s result: Perfecto! That’s FOUR in a row.

Connections
Puzzle #429
🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟨🟨🟨🟨
🟦🟦🟦🟦
🟪🟪🟪🟪

The song in my head when I woke up today: Four Stitches, by Antje Duvekot

Aug. 12: Do You Sleep? by Lisa Loeb
Aug. 11: The Trouble With Wanting, by Joy Williams
Aug. 10: Angels Fall, by Breaking Benjamin
Aug. 9: No Woman No Cry, by Bob Marley
Aug: 8: Follow Your Arrow, by Kacey Musgraves
Aug. 7: Come To My Window, by Melissa Etheridge
Aug. 6: Four Stitches, by Antje Duvekot
Aug. 5: Dreams, by The Cranberries
Aug. 4: Breaking Inside, by Shinedown
Aug. 3: Three Little Birds, by Bob Marley
Aug 2: Long Way, by Antje Duvekot
Aug. 1: I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, by U2

Favorite line from the song in my head when I woke up: And the world was lit up then and the fairgrounds were shining/Your hand on my shoulder… That was enough

Commute Tunes: Music I listened to while driving to the office this morning was from my Punk playlist

I’m Just a Kid, Simple Plan & L0L0
The Boys of Summer, The Ataris
Institutionalized, Suicidal Tendencies
Dammit, blink-182
Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down, Fall Out Boy
Bouncing Off The Walls, Sugarcult
Been Caught Stealing, Jane’s Addiction
estella//, KennyHoopla & Travis Barker

Something I’m looking forward to today: A day in the office with my colleagues.

Something I’m looking forward to in the next seven days: 50th birthday celebration at the Lake of the Ozarks this weekend.

Something I’m grateful for from yesterday: Getting my baseball team together to practice for the first time this fall season.

What I’m writing: Today’s two crappy pages involved News Nuggies! Tuesdays are for News Nuggies! Today, you can learn about a really expensive bikini, a whole lot of coffee, one whopper of a fine for Meta, and the latest in gut Band-Aids. Oh, and you’ll also learn that sometimes the judicial system makes absolutely no sense at all. Get the details here.

What I’ve written: I write Living Eulogies to speak truth about the people who have meant something to my life while they are still alive. So this one … Mrs. Gray, The Mom I Needed

I want to find whoever said, “Tough times don’t last; tough people do” and punch him in the throat.

I haven’t felt “right” for a while now. Yes, I can trace it back to the phone call I received from my cousin while I was at a baseball tournament in Indianapolis telling me that my aunt was going to die soon. But it’s so much more than that.

I feel like I’ve been “just hang on”-ing for a while now. This combination of griefs has added up to a big huge hurt in my soul that doesn’t seem to ebb. I am intensely lonely, intensely sad, intensely regretful … a tad bit angry. I go about doing the things I need to do to be a responsible human adult with a wife and kids and a side business and a regular job and a baseball team to coach. I find moments of joy throughout every day. I try to be mindful and stay present. I eat well, I don’t exercise (which I know is a problem) and I attempt to get enough sleep.

Of all the traits I have, my resilience and perseverance are two at or near the top of the list. But goddammit, I’m sick of being resilient and perseverancey. I’m tired of so many things being so goddamn hard. I’m tired of feeling so alone. Alone with my thoughts. Alone with my past. Alone with everything. I’m tired of it feeling like none of this resiliency and perseverance matters. That, in the end, I’m just going to die anyway and there really aren’t that many people who will give a shit … or even notice. I do what I do because I have responsibilities and the few who do care depend on me. But does that even matter?

I keep thinking, “This is going to ease.” And I’m sure someday it will. It always has before, so I have reason to hope. I’m doing the things I need to do to meet the universe halfway. It would be nice if the universe would show up and pull me the rest of the way.

Would you please help a brutha out? I’ve created a weekly eNewsletter called News-B-Nuts in which I’ll be sending out news nuggets and witty commentary to subscribers. If you can, would you support this endeavor for just $5 a month via Patreon?

Hanging On — August 13, 2024

THE DAILY UPDATE

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