Anger — May 9, 2025 – John Agliata

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩
Rage😠
Break Stuff🎶
BMI Lies🤥

THE DAILY UPDATE

I am angry. Like, really, really angry. I’m sitting here in my home office with the door closed, and I’m angry.

I’m angry at how people who supposedly love me talk to me, how quick they are to go from friendly to downright nasty and then withdraw.

I’m angry at the lack of friends in my life, angry at myself for taking so fucking long to figure out my shit, and angry that I chased people out of my life for reasons that are proving not to be worth it. I’m angry at all the “advice” I get to put myself out there, that it takes time, blah blah blah, and when I tell these advice givers that I have done and am doing all the things they have recommended, that I am putting myself out there, that I’ve given this process a half a fucking decade and all these efforts have amounted to nothing because people in general have their heads in their phones or up their asses and would rather doomscroll through bullshit that actually connect and see the people around them.

I’m angry at being born into a situation that left me with damage I didn’t even know about until way too late to make something of my life and the relationships that I should have held more tenderly. I didn’t choose a crazy-ass mother and weak-ass father who refused to stand up to her for me. I didn’t ask to be born into that. And now I am lambasted to their stupid-ass friends and made to be the villain and no one stops to ask me so they can get the other side of the story. So I am the black sheep while they sit in their self-righteousness.

And that spawns to being angry at things in the world, the way these stupid-ass Catholics celebrate their new leader and call him infallible when anyone associated with that church is most definitely fallible. Trust me. I’ve worked for them. They cover up for child molestation and work to celebrate them, and they are empowered to do this by the sheep who show up faithfully and are conned into putting their money in the passed plates, money used to house aging pedos and pay for the legal bills. “But they do good things too!” Really? For the love of the God you say you believe in, I can’t think of one single person who has been pure evil. Even Hitler, I’m sure, had a kind word or two or did one or two good things. Manipulative, evil people use good acts to smokescreen their evil, and stupid people fall for it and then stand down instead of saying, “Ya know, sure they did something good, but they also FUCK KIDS and cover up for the kid fuckers.” If you build a well in an area that needs water, wonderful! Stop there. Don’t fuck the village’s kids as your reward for giving them water. How do people not see this.

I’m angry at living in a state dominated by MAGA morons, idiot Trump-flag flyers on their pollution-spewing jacked-up pickup trucks with Murican flags and associated MAGA paraphernalia. That we have reached a point where so many people cast ballots for that guy makes this country (and this planet) a place I don’t want to be any more. There is such blatant evil, arrogance, self-brewed chaos and general overall fuckery, and I never signed up to be on this ride. I didn’t ask for this, and I FUCKING HATE IT.

And above all, there’s this anger at the choices I’ve made that have led me to sit in this very seat right now. I made choices from the brokenness that I wasn’t aware I had and hurt people who genuinely cared about me, who saw me, who were safe, and I chased them away in the process. Either that, or I outright abandoned them. There’s no going back to undo that bullshit, but what results is that I feel like I’m just playing out the string until my heart finally stops.

I don’t know … I just sit here thinking, “This isn’t the life I want.” And there isn’t a goddamn thing I can do about it. I sit here and I wait for someone to care enough to show up, to come back, and in the meantime, I feel like I’m a rowboat in the middle of a fucking hurricane that no one else sees.

Something I’m grateful for today: Having the house to myself right now.

Something I’ve (ghost)written: The Truth About Untruths with Self-Disclosed BMI

Song In My Head When I Woke Up: My Immortal, by Evanescence

Meaningful Lyric From SIMHWIWU:

I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears

Song of the Day: Break Stuff, by Limp Bizkit

Meaningful lyric from the S.O.T.D.:

It’s just one of those days
When you don’t wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
Everybody sucks

Something good from today/yesterday: Getting a TON of work done.

Something I’m looking forward to in the next seven days: Going to a whiskey tasting tomorrow with Boy The Elder at Still 360.

Fat-Ass Update:

Starting weight: 230.6 on 2/12/25
Goal weight (for now): 199.9
Today’s weight 221.7 (-8.9)
Fat-ass burn-off remaining: 21.8 fat-ass pounds

Help a brutha out: Subscribe to my twice-weekly eNewsletter free! It’s called News-B-Nuts and it’s a quick hitter on interesting news stories I find. Sign up here, please!

Anger — May 9, 2025

THE DAILY UPDATE

Read More …

Share this:

Like this:

Leave a ReplyCancel reply

Discover more from John Agliata - Johnny Boy Marketing