(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to 1980s TRH [Truly Reprehensible Human] Carolyn Bryant. No sugar added.)
Everyone thought it was bullshit, which is quite remarkable for a high school whose students didn’t agree on much. What brought us all together? Angst. Anger. Outrage. The lead in the school’s rendition of Grease was given to someone other than Charlie McWade! The the someone was someone decidedly un-Travolta-ish made it even worse!
These were the things that made for controversy back in the day.
Charlie, to everyone who had ever seen him do his thing, was a really, really good actor. Of course, I might not be the best source to say this. My only acting experience was as Johnny Ghost in the first-grade play organized by librarian Mrs. Donohue, a weird woman who organized this play in which no one would actually utter a line but would rather lip sync to a record of some adventure of Casper The Friendly Ghost. As Johnny Ghost, I was to be playing hooky from school.
I feel as if I was typecast, but hey … I was 6. Who was I to object? Anyway, Mrs. Donahue wanted me to open up the scene, in which I was enjoying the freedom of not being in school, by playing hopscotch.
Hopscotch? Are you kidding?
Like any Hollywood diva, I objected. “I wouldn’t play hopscotch if I was skipping school,” I said.
“It’s not you who’s skipping school, John,” replied Mrs. Donahue.
“Johnny Ghost wouldn’t play hopscotch either. No one skips school just to play hopscotch.” Of course, no one called me on the fact that I knew exactly no one who’d ever skipped school before, so the volume of my encyclopedia on school-skipping activities was quite thin.
Mrs. Donahue might have been weird, but she knew well the path of least resistance with diva 6-year-olds. “Fine. What would Johnny Ghost be doing?”
I hadn’t quite thought of that. All I knew was that Johnny Agliata had never played hopscotch in his life, so Johnny Ghost sure as hell wasn’t going to get up in front of people, including cute-as-a-button classmate Susan Ziegler, and play freaking hopscotch.
“Um….. how about street hockey?”
An odd choice, I realized even as I was saying it. I had played street hockey the same number of times I’d played hopscotch.
“Fine. You’ll be playing street hockey. Make sure you bring your stick to the next practice.”
“I don’t have a hockey stick,” I replied.
“You don’t have a hockey stick?”
“No.”
“Does anyone you know have a hockey stick?”
As a matter of fact, I knew no one who had ever played any form of hockey. Not in my friend group. No adults. No one.
I don’t remember how, but a hockey stick materialized in time for our one and only performance. I remember having to wear this black plastic Halloween-costume fedora, and when my music hit, I walked around chasing a small orange ball back and forth, faking shots and deft passes. Then I mouthed some lines. I’m sure there was a moral in my scene somewhere — something about skipping school being a gateway to cocaine addiction. These were the beginning of the Just Say No Reagan years, after all.
And then I was done with theater.
Charlie’s acting career lasted much longer. But it wasn’t thanks to The Great Grease Controversy of 1991/92. On that, he was jobbed.
Charlie was someone I never got to know that well in school but who was a positive part of the fabric of Fox Lane life. I knew no one who had a bad word to say about Charlie, far different from what I could honestly say about myself. Charlie seemed to me to be the definition of chill. Life happened; Charlie participated. He didn’t seem to stress or worry or fret. Maybe that’s actually how he felt on the inside, too. If he didn’t, well, like I said, he’s a great actor.
After high school, every once in awhile, I’d be watching TV and be like, “Wait. Is that Charlie?” And it was. The 2001-02 series “Third Watch” was the biggest example of that. It’s cool to turn to the person you’re married to and be like, “Yeah, I went to high school with him” while pointing at a fucking television set. It carries with it the silent, “And who that cool went to your high school, sweetie pie? No one. That’s who.”
I remember one particular time after graduation but before I departed for college. My high school girlfriend, Jami, and I were heading down to NYC on the train. Suddenly, there was Charlie seated across from us. I think he was going into the city for an audition or something. Jami and I thought that was cool as hell.
A few years back, Charlie and I exchanged some deeper emails and approached something of a non-Facebook friendship. He shared with me the short film he directed called Weee Wooo, which is spooky as shit and builds in intensity until, well, I’ll sell you the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge. Then that sorta-friendship just kind of stopped. Life is busy. Those things happened, though I wish that thing hadn’t. I’d have liked to have called Charlie an actual friend, I think … someone who existed outside the confines of Facebook and maybe even existed in real life.
Charlie seems to me to be a good human. That means something when the sea is filled with so many not-good humans. Despite what he’s achieved on stage and screen and now as a voice actor in video games and cartoons and more, he remains the same chill dude I knew back then.
So I raise a glass … To Charlie McWade, the dude I knew who’s on my TV set! Hear hear!
Who should be the next Living Eulogy? Email me at johnagliata@gmail.com.
More Living Eulogies
Mrs. Gray, The Mom I Needed
Each of us is handed a mother when we are formed and brought into this world, and the only prerequisite for the job has absolutely nothing to do with the ability to raise a child well. For many — myself included — that makes the other women who come into our lives and who help…
Denise and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very-Bad Date (But A Lot of Great Stuff Too)
There’s a Bro Code among high school guys that if your really good guy friend asks for a favor so he can be with a girl he really likes, you do it. I didn’t write this code. I don’t necessarily approve of this code. I just know that it exists. And so when my really…
Craig and the Life Boat
These Living Eulogies are not about me. They are about the people whose names appear in the headline. But sometimes, to understand exactly who these people are and how amazing they were to me (and perhaps to you), you’ve got to understand some personal context. Craig Tuminaro is one such person. I’d known Craig through…
Dan: Wrestling and Duck Hunt
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to James Cameron. Do not use in the shower. Pain has a way of etching memories deep into your brain. And so it is…
Keith: Metallica and Mound Visits
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to Al Roker. Stop, drop and roll.) My drive to work today was highlighted by my first listen of Metallica’s new album, 72 Seasons.…
Robin, I Owe You Some Quarters
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to Vanilla Ice. Stop. Collaborate. Listen.) The first indication I had that girls are complex came at the ripe old age of 6. I…
Jill, The Dot Connector
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to your Gwenyth Paltrow’s laywer. Void where prohibited by law.) With the benefit of numerous trips around the sun, I’ve learned that whatever it…
My Lab Partner, Amanda
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to your Tucker Carlson. Apply liberally.) Writing these Living Eulogies has brought up many things — for me, for the people who have read…
The Secret Visit to Kate’s
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to your local Girl Scouts chapter. Do not use in shower.) For today’s Living Eulogy, I wanted to try something a little bit different.…
Mrs. O’Loughlin and All I Needed to Know …
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to your local Applebee’s. Do not ingest.) Back before the whole “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” thing became a…
Jason, One-Third of the Separated Trio
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to Scientology headquarters. Some assembly required.) When I look back at my early childhood, the number of memories that start with “Jason, Chris and…
Twenty-Three Hours & Forty-Five Minutes of Joy
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to Kirk Cameron. Apply pressure to stop the bleeding.) Long before there was a Facebook status to label it, there was the OG of…
A Living Eulogy Conundrum
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to Dan Patrick. The choice of a lawyer is an important one and shouldn’t be based on advertising alone.) So this is where Living…
Paul, Leah, Mark & Chris … or is it Graziver, Elora, Fargas & the DM?
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to Gary Gygax. Talk to your kids about drugs.) If there is a thing that has traditionally separated the nerds from the not-nerds, it…
Mrs. Tulin, The Reason I Write
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to 1980s Kansas City Royals shortstop U.L. Washington. The choice of a lawyer is an important one and should not be made based on…
Crazy Pat
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to Tony Hawk. Reapply every two hours during exposure.) Something that’s becoming increasingly apparent to me as I go about doing these Living Eulogies…
Amy and the Awkward Sixth-Grade Dance
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to Marty Walsh. Read all directions before use.) In the first known picture capturing a moment between my big sister and I, she is…
A Kind Word From Danny
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to LeBron James. See our website for full terms and conditions.) On the surface, Danny Bryan and I shared very little in common. Back…
Lindy, The Best Friend I Hated
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to Jessica Simpson. Please include a self-addressed, stamped envelope, and allow six to eight weeks for delivery.) Someone had to be first, and in…
Meredith, The Girl Who Loved Baseball
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance to everyone who has different recollection of the same events. Send all complaints to John Stamos. Please spay and neuter your pets.) My bus stop was a hive of activity in the early years of my education.…
Josh, the Quiet, Err, Mad Alaskan
(Editor’s note: Welcome to Living Eulogies. All recollections are accurate in the author’s mind only. Apologies in advance for everyone who has different recollection of the same event. No animals were harmed in the making of these living eulogies. Send all complaints to Elon Musk and Garth Brooks.) There was always a buzz in the…
Michelle and the Chocolate Chips
Some people are the leading actresses in the movie that is your life. Maybe it’s your girlfriend or spouse. Maybe it’s your bestest of besties. I’ve been blessed to have a few amazing leading actresses make my life better. Then there are the women just outside that leading role who are no less important to…
Welcome to Living Eulogies
When my classmate Sarah died late last year, I realized just how much she was a part of the fabric of my childhood. And that was interesting to me. I mean, were my life a movie, Sarah wouldn’t be anything close to the lead actress. She would probably be considered an extra in many ways,…