🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩
Breath🎶
Robot Surgery🦾
Cornhole💰
THE DAILY UPDATE
Three Things I’m Grateful For Today:
- An amazing weekend.
- The prospect of a big week ahead.
- That all our yard work is slowly taming the wild that is encroaching upon my home.
Pursuit of Wordle Godhood: Today’s result: Four. After yesterday’s double-fail, I was really … focused … on this one.
Wordle 1,038 4/6
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Pursuit of Connections Godhood: Today’s result: PERFECTO. Seriously, I got this in less than 30 seconds, which was needed after yesterday’s double-fail.
Connections
Puzzle #316
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The song in my head when I woke up: “Breath” by Breaking Benjamin
Favorite line from the song in my head when I woke up: You take the breath right out of me/You left a hole where my heart should be
Commute Tunes: No commute today. We’ll see what the day has for me musically!
Something I’m looking forward to today: Baseball practice with my team as we prepare for this weekend’s tournament.
Something I’m looking forward to in the next seven days: A big interview on Wednesday.
Something I’m grateful for from yesterday: Being there in person when Brian Danielson wrestled Will Osprey in what should be a match of the century at AEW’s Dynasty PPV … and also being there when the Swerve Era began. Who’s house?
What I’m writing: Yesterday’s Two Crappy Pages involved no writing. It was a very, very busy day.
What I’ve written: Interning with Surgical Precision: Operating rooms of the not-too-distant future could feature a four-armed robotic system named Ottava that will assist human surgeons as they conduct more-precise, less-invasive procedures with a lower chance of complications.
Today’s Stoic Though of the Day: “It is possible to be a person always stretching to avoid error.” — Epictetus
John’s translation of Today’s STD: “I don’t want to hear your bitch-ass excuse that ‘That’s just how I am.’ If you’re being a dink, strive to be less of a dink. Be vigilant. Today’s error necessarily makes tomorrow worse, and you can’t always fix what you break. So pay attention, dumbass, and be better.”
The game of Cornhole is so sketch that, when you attempt to pay someone on Venmo for your entry fee into a Cornhole tournament and put into the memo “Cornhole tournament,” the app rejects your payment and asks you to put in a different memo.
I learned this yesterday, as the baseball team for which I am head coach held its Second Annual Midwest Rebels Cornhole Fundraiser.
What the hell is Cornhole? I’m glad you asked.
It is nowhere near as dirty as your perverted mind and Venmo’s programmers think it is. It is also known simply as Bags, but the gist of it is this: Throw some bags filled with corn roughly 27 feet toward a slanted board with a hole in the middle. The goal is to get more bags on the board or in the hole than your opponents. One teammate from each two-person team stand opposite each other, 27 feet apart, and the bags fly back and forth until some team scores 21 points.
And my dudes … let me tell you … some people take this shit really seriously.
Boy The Younger and I entered as a team. We called ourselves the Toss Bosses, which was one of the more tame names you can think of when you’re playing a game called Cornhole. We knew we were likely in trouble when some teams rolled up carrying wheelie suitcases with their personalized bags in them. That’s as strong of a flex as showing up to a pool hall with your own cue or a bowling alley with your own ball.
Things went fine when BTY and I were playing a team made up of fellow Rebels-related players. But when we ran into one of these professional teams that tours the weekend Cornhole circuit (could any three words be more Missourah) we had our asses handed to us.
On the day, we went 4-5. We were 1-3 in pool play before we rolled to a 3-1 start in the double-elimination bracket play. Then, we ran into one of the aforementioned pro teams and gratefully shook hands and took a seat.
The overall event was a blast. People ate, drank, bought 50/50 raffle tickets, drank, bid on silent auction items, drank and had a great time. All told, we raised more than $1,000 for our team, though the final tally has yet to come in. We’ll use the cash for a team event at our last tournament of the year, in Indianapolis, and then whatever is left over we’ll have an end-of-the-season party. And we need to buy some batting practice baseballs, too.
It’s fun to be a part of this whole thing that we’ve built here. The kids had a great time, and we enjoyed throwin’ bags.
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