Movie Ambush — Jan. 13, 2023 - Johnny Boy Marketing

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩
Sadness 😥
Annoyance 😠
Disappointment 😞

When Boy The Elder was Boy The Only in our home, he watched one of the Air Bud movies featuring a basketball-playing dog. Or maybe it was football. Or soccer. By the time that series was over, that dog had played them all.

Anyway, whichever Air Bud movie that was, that was the last Air Bud movie BTE would watch. Something happened to the dog in this movie — an injury or a death or something or other — and BTE was having none of it. It was just too sad for him. Boy The Younger is even more of an animal lover than BTE is.

As such, we are familiar with the site DoesTheDogDie.com. The site originally started as a list of movies that had dogs in them and, as the name might suggest, the fate of said dog. Since I last looked at it before this morning, it has evolved to include a whole bunch of other topics.

Looking to avoid movies featuring nuclear explosions? There’s a list for that.

People being burned alive? Yup.

Finger or toe mutilation? Most definitely.

But the death of an infant? Nope.

And that’s kinda the list I need, folks.

Last night, Wifey Poo and I met after work to see A Man Called Otto. I’ve never read the book, but the trailer intrigued me, and I’m down to see whatever Tom Hanks is in.

SPOILER ALERTS BELOW! Proceed at your own risk.

Tom Hanks’s character, Otto, is grieving the recent loss of his wife. Throughout the course of that, we learn that he’s a grumpy old man who’s alone, in part, because an accident that paralyzed his wife killed their unborn child.

There’s this scene after his wife wakes up in the hospital and realizes what has happened and the two just hold onto each other and cry. I’ve lived that scene. I’m not afraid to see such scenes. But it really, really sucks to be blindsided by such scenes.

That infant death is not on doesthedogdie.com shows just how much we like to avoid the topic of infant death. Yes, I know the child in this movie wasn’t an infant, and there is a listing on doesthedogdie.com for miscarriages. But the case still holds. I’d love to know if a movie has anything related to infant death.

Because I’ve lived it. And it’s hard to be confronted with it without warning.

It’s not just infants, though. The first time this topic came into our lives was shortly after Jacob died. We rented the movie Gladiator. That’s a safe bet, right? I mean, it’s a dude flick about battle and combat and badassery, right? Except for the fact that the main character is fighting because the emperor murdered his wife … and son … and — spoiler art again, kids — as the gladiator is breathing his last breaths, the scene shows him walking through a field going “home” and his boy and wife running out to meet him.

Yeah.

That.

So someone … somewhere … please. Can you get on making some sort of site I can go to so I can prepare for movies and not be punched right in the gut like I was last night? Thank you.

A lesson in how to piss off someone who does graphic design for you: Take the proof he sends you of the flyer or poster or article or whatever you needed designed, find something you want to be different, stop proofing and send that change back to him. Then, when he sends you a new proof, find the next thing you’d like to be different, stop, and send that change back to him. Repeat this a minimum of 55 times … and, oh yeah, make sure you include some changes you made to changes you already had made. And then add one or two to those changed changes as well.

Because you certainly wouldn’t want to pause, carve out 20 minutes of your precious life to find everything you want different at once, send all that back and wait for what likely will be a final draft delivered much more quickly than if you stuck with your way of doing things.

The First Sermon of the No-Dick Church

What follows is an excerpt of the sermon delivered by Pastor Q.F. Conseco of the No-Dick Church on July 3, 2022, from his home outside Escandido, California. Good morning and welcome to the first-ever meeting of the newly created No-Dick Church of Hellhole Canyon, California. Verily, I welcome you and hope you are enjoying our…

Movie Ambush — Jan. 13, 2023

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