Since Then

Since Then ...
Every morning holds that moment
Every mile, a reminder
Every night sighs a silent prayer

Since Then ...
The music tends to a hurting heart
Harmonizing with the memories of what was
Before ripping the wounds open once again

Since Then ...
A million words haven't fixed what I didn't know was broken
A million tears haven't emptied the well of sadness
Talking ... so much talking ... with no relief 

Since Then ...
The salt-and-pepper beard has turned mostly to salt
The aches have become my constant companion
The lines etched deeper, sadder

Since Then ... 
The hats have shifted, the labels changed
Failure. Incapable. Uncreative. 
Host Dad. Imaginative. Soul Traveler. 

Since Then ...
The addresses are different
The responsibilities are different
The loneliness is not. 

Since Then ... 
Secret shame. Isolated grief. Solo wandering. 
Healing. Growth. Restoration. Happiness. 
Remnants. Remembrance. Regrets. 

Since Then ...
Death. A vision of what comes Next
Finding the soul and the purpose
Meeting my traveling companion again

Since Then ...
Dreams. My God, the dreams
Eye contact. A guiding touch
Angry words and accusations

Since Then ...
Connections and understanding
The pieces falling into place
But no one to put the puzzle together with 

Since Then ...
Longing, aching, missing
Wondering, watching, wanting
Waiting ... 

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