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Top 5 (More) Little Annoying Things That Can Ruin Your Day

Welcome to Issue No. 10 of Listicles, the feature that presents the Top 10, Top 5, Top 3, Top 100 or Top 1,000,000 of whatever it is you want to know about. Email your Listicle suggestions to johnagliata@gmail.com.

Here’s the thing about Annoying Things: They’re everywhere. It wasn’t a few weeks ago that I wrote the Top 5 Little Things That Can Ruin Your Day. And here we are, already with five more little things that can ruin your day. How did I find these things? Simply by existing. The world is an annoying place, my friends, so without further ado, let’s get to the list.


No. 5: When the chip isn’t strong enough for the dip.

If you work for a company that makes chips that routinely break when going through even the least-thick salsa, you suck and are part of the reason our nation is in decline. Chips are not meant to be eaten alone. They’re meant for dip. Thus, if a chip can’t handle the dip, is it really even a chip? Annoying.


No. 4: Clogged coffee makers

Those who think the proliferation of K-cups is what’s going to ultimately destroy our planet are not seeing the equal proliferation of huge flying objects hurtling toward Mother Earth. That said, K-cups are shortening my life in that they have a brain and intentionally clog the coffeemaker on the mornings a simple made cup of coffee is most needed. Screw you, K-cups. Screw you. Annoying.


No. 3: Stress zits

If you are older than, say, 22, you are right to have the expectation of clear skin. You’ve paid your dues, after all, and made it through your teenage years. Then, of course, you look at the calendar and see you have a huge presentation to give in two weeks. And what appears in two weeks minus one day? A huge freaking stress zit that glows like a beacon when you stand up in front of the crowd. Annoying.


No. 2: When the fingerprint scanner doesn’t recognize your fingerprint

I’m grateful my computer has a fingerprint scanner to unlock it. I hate passwords. I hate two-factor authentication. I’m all for biometric identifiers to allow us into our shit. What I’m not for is a fingerprint scanner that tells me it’s sorry but it can’t recognize my fingerprint. Excuse me, but that’s the only index finger I have on my right hand, so you better check again. Annoying.


No. 1: When your ear starts ringing for no reason

There you are, going about your day bothering absolutely no one when all of a sudden … eeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Your ear starts ringing. You look at the people around you to confirm this isn’t some kind of terror attack but is actually your own body malfunctioning. Patiently, you wait for the stroke. But it doesn’t come. All that comes is eeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Until it just goes away like it never was there. Annoying.


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