🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩
The Agliata Homeschool Academy 🚌
When you tell people you homeschool your children, you typically receive one of three responses:
- An enthusiastic: “Oh, that’s so cool!”
- An I’d-rather-be-dipped-in-acid: “Oh wow! I could never do that!”
- A you’re-one-of-those-weirdos: “Oh… really… homeschooling, huh?”
The percentage for each has changed in the wake of the Great Modern Plague that shut down schools and thrust parents into situations homeschool parents willingly sign up for. We get many more #2 responses these days.
Today, the Agliata Homeschool Academy again opened its doors — by which I mean Boy The Younger’s bedroom door so he could stumble out and grudgingly begin eighth grade. We’ve been doing this homeschool thing for 15 years now, and be “we” I mean a heavy dose of Wifey Poo with some academics and, shall we say, gentle behavioral modifications from Principal Daddio from time to time.
Homeschooling ain’t easy, even when you have a kid as scholastically minded as Boy The Elder. The blurring of the lines between mom and teacher, home and school, academics and play are difficult to navigate for both parents/teachers and kids/students. To say that we have it mastered, even after a decade and a half of trying, would be to willfully and heartily lie our asses off.
And compared to most in the homeschooling community, we’ve got it easy, with “only” two kids. A majority of homeschool families have sports team-sized broods of youngins’ who spill out of conversion vans when they arrive at events like clowns from a tiny car at a circus. Wifey Poo was charged with educating both our boys at the same time for “only” five years, though the last two of those BTE was largely handling his own stuff through co-ops and college classes.
Which isn’t to suggest what Wifey Poo does is easy. It’s not. Far, far, far from it. Most parents know this in the wake of the aforementioned school shutdowns. Though BTE was a smart kid who wanted to do well in school, he was also a royal pain in the ass for a few years because, well, he was a kid. We had more than one come-to-Jesus talk with him, and there were numerous days where I could feel the tension inside the house when I came home from work and pulled the car into the garage — forget walking in the front door.
Yet Wifey Poo has always made it work … and work well. She’s really, really good at what she does, despite the fact that BTY is most decidedly not like his older brother and many times could give a rip about learning anything. Yet she — and to give myself a little bit of credit, we — has never given up. We didn’t set out with a plan to homeschool our kids all the way through school. We merely said “We’re going to homeschool today, and probably tomorrow too.” We stuck with the goal, when all else was insane around us, of “Turning out good young men who don’t leech off society.” So far, so good.
I’m not one of those who hates on the public school district and thinks all kids should be homeschooled. They shouldn’t. Some kids and some parents aren’t made for that, and that makes them no better or no worse than any other parent or kid. Homeschooling simply was right for us. So we do it. It’s that simple.
And that hard.
Tomorrow after work, I’m going to be hypnotized. Call it a Hail-Mary effort to cure whatever the hell has been going on in my mouth since November 2020, when COVID came along with a nasty metallic goopy taste/feeling that has been with me every single goddamn day since then.
I’ve been to dentists. “Your mouth looks normal.”
I’ve been to my general practitioners. “Your mouth looks normal.”
“I’ve been to ENTs (ear, nose and throat). “Your mouth looks normal.”
I’ve been to functional medicine doctors, had my wife look in my mouth and invited random strangers to gaze into my open maw to see absolutely nothing wrong.
Finding someone in the medical profession to take seriously what can’t be seen or indicated on a scan or through a blood test is exceedingly frustrating, yet I’m pretty sure that if I don’t find some sort of solution to this situation, I’m going to one day be annoyed enough by it that I’m going to jump mouth-first off the top of the Arch.
Karen the Hypnotist thinks she can help. She’s got lots of examples of uncovering the root causes of medical situations by having the subconscious mind, which apparently knows all, be freed up to talk to the conscious mind.
Listen, do I think this is nuts? Sure, I think it’s nuts.
I also think most of what we now call modern medicine was at one time considered nuts. I think the fact that we can take a few pills because our heads hurt and that our head hurts will reliably go away despite the fact that no one really knows why is absolutely nuts too. We know so very little about what the brain is, how it works and what goes wrong with it that we should be much more open to that which we call “alternative” than we are. “Alternative,” absent the massive financial influence of Big Pharma, offers a lot of people who are at the end of their ropes something approaching hope.
So I’ll go to this session tomorrow, and probably a few more. I’ll let Karen the Hypnotist tinker around with my brain. And hopefully one day, my mouth won’t feel like a rat crawled in it and died.
Calling someone a Redneck isn’t exactly a nice thing to do. I mean, it’s one of the last remaining somewhat socially acceptable racial slurs, but that doesn’t mean it’s a kind thing to call a person. Unless, of course, it’s literally true.
BTE and I went to the Indycar race on Saturday. Well, I should say “races,” because we actually were there for three races and about 10 hours, the majority of which the sun was at our backs.
I learned the lesson long ago that, as a bald dude who shaves his head at least three or four times a week, it’s a wise idea for me to wear a hat outside. I apparently haven’t learned that the sun can torch the rest of my fair-skinned body.
The back of my neck is now an angry scarlet. Wearing a collared shirt to work today has been less than pleasant. Yet will it teach me to remember sunscreen the next time I am in a situation like this? Of course it won’t. I’m a guy, which means there are certain things I am biologically blocked from doing.
Reading directions is another, in case you’re interested.
Hi. My name is John, and I’m a COVID Longhauler. When the coronavirus epidemic shut down the country in March 2020, Kent Taylor refused to accept his base salary as chief executive officer of Texas Roadhouse restaurants and instead poured that money back into his frontline restaurant workers to help them stay financially afloat. A…Keep reading
Today’s Reasons to Keep Living
- Can’t wait for the skin-peeling part of this sunburn.
- Hypnosis awaits!
- Looking forward to see what Wifey Poo does after she’s all “Mission Accomplished” with educating our boys.
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🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Unwitting Guinea Pigs 🐹False Bragging 🦹♂️Put Me In, Coach 🚀 My regular readers (hey, you three!) know that I have a hatred for social media’s influence on society with an intensity rivaled only by the heat of a thousand suns. The latest bit of “Are you fucking kidding me?” comes from…Keep reading
Welcome to Issue No. 7 of Listicles, the feature that presents the Top 10, Top 5, Top 3, Top 100 or Top 1,000,000 of whatever it is you want to know about. Email your Listicle suggestions to firstname.lastname@example.org. No. 5: I reached out to a friend I have not been shy about sharing that I’ve…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩More Stupid Human Stuff 📱KC Trip ⚾Miserable Missourah 😠 Quick: Take a look around you. If you’re in a room with five other people, one of them thinks you’re financially struggling if you don’t have the latest iPhone. That’s according to a new survey following the release of the iPhone 14.…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Loser Species 👶Email Win 📧Dad Pride 👨👦👦 I’m pretty sure I’m not normal. Normal people respond to that statement with, “Oh, John, nobody’s normal,” which is just a sign for us non-normies that the person we’re talking to is normal. Yesterday, I was waiting for Wifey Poo to pick me up…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Concert Thoughts 🧠Marriage 💍Drunk Idiots 🧉 There’s this scene in the 2004 movie Garden State in which Sam (Natalie Portman) looks at Andrew (Zach Braff) and notices … … And yeah, that resonated with me then and resonates with me now. Ever since then, being “in it” has become a thing…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Sadness 😥Beautiful Skies ⛅Two Terms For 2022 ✌️ Back in our early days at Pound Ridge Elementary School, Sarah was the fastest girl runner in the class, which bought her some serious playground cred. There were only a few of us boys who could hang with Sarah in the 50-meter dash…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Ear Flushing👂Grunge God🎶Tech Guy📺 If you have to have a doctor tell you a body part or yours is small, I suppose one of the least offensive would be the ear canal. That’s what a doctor told me this morning, after I finally broke down and actually went to said doctor’s…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Toys in the Hall🪅Idiot Governors🗳️Flopping FedEx✈️ Last night in my hotel in Springfield, Missourah, I set out a glass of milk and a plate of cookies before going to bed. It’s not that I don’t know how to read a calendar or have any particular belief in a fat man in…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Which One?🗺️Leave Introverts Alone🤫Oxford Commas🤪 I’m on the road for work this week, in Springfield. Ahhh, but Springfield what? There currently are 35 populated places in the United States named Springfield, spread out over 25 states, including five in Wisconsin. In addition, there are 35 Springfield Townships, and Ohio owns 11…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Surrounded 😷Wood Splitter 🌲Morons 🤪 I’ve had COVID. Twice. The first time fucked up my life for a year. I’m still not back to the me I was before it came into my home, and I’m pretty sure that now, nearly two years later, that’s not going to change. The second…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Sunday audible🤒Fantasy Failure 🏈Anal Chess♟️ Sunday was supposed to be a romantic day spent in a canoe with Wifey Poo, the two of us paddling leisurely down the Meramec River. Mother Nature was not in the mood to play wingman and decided to pick the one day in the midst of…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Finish Line Scene 🏃♂️Baseball’s Better ⚾M-I-Z! Z-O-UC-H! 🏈 I have never understood the modern-day purpose of running for the sake of running. Sure, I understand it’s a great form of cardiovascular exercise and it’s a convenient way to get from Point A to Point B, yet the desire to strap on…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Book Guy 📚Queen Stuff 👑Bernard Shaw 📺 I’ve decided I want to own a copy of every Stephen King book ever written. That’s about 75 books at the moment. I have a built-in bookcase in my mancave/home office. I don’t think it would hold all 75 in hardcover, but perhaps it…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Beginnings 📚School Start 🚌Real Baseball ⚾ I was thinking this morning on my drive to work how we rarely know when the significant times in our lives begin. So frequently, the most important things that happen to us start with nothing noteworthy. Of course, there are exceptions, the “love-at-first-sight” moments or…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Fallin’ Thoughts 🤕Shinedown 🎸Sleepy 😴 The brain can be surprisingly efficient when the meatsack it’s attached to is in the middle of falling off a ladder while holding a revved-up chainsaw. This, I learned yesterday morning while attempting to saw a limb off a tree that was getting way too close…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Overview📅Fantasy Football🏈Elite Bonding🤼♂️ Days that start with chainsaws and lighter fluid and end with four hours of really good professional wrestling are bound to be added to the “good” column for review when the scales are weighed at the end of a life. Yesterday was such a day for me. In…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Funeral 😢Glimmers ☁️Meat 🥩 If you’re lucky, you’ve had a second mother. Whether your first mother was or is an amazing person who nurtured you and raised you among calm consistency or if she was lacking in certain maternal fundamentals, having a second mother is a blessing. Today, we were there…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩We’re Dumber 👎OnlyFans Thrives 🍑Shinedown 🎵 Official statistics put the COVID death toll in the United States at 1.04 million, with another 713 deaths yesterday. More than 4,000 people are in the ICU right now suffering from what the former Moron-in-Chief called that one person coming from China and a situation…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Dethroned Queen 👑Gravy Wrestling 🤼♂️Dog Talk 🐕 Don’t fuck with the Bucyrus Bratwurst Festival board. That’s a message Abigail Brocwell is learning the hard way. Brocwell was expected to be inaugurated as the queen of the festival in the northern Ohio town earlier this month, but she was stripped of the…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩3, Unassisted ⚾A Sad Day 📅Tracking Your Vagina 🌸 The last time Boy The Younger was on a baseball field, the “coach” of his team removed him from a game in the middle of an inning because I had privately messaged him to not attempt to steal home with my kid…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Hydrogen Issue 🚀Karting 🏎️Lake Life 😌 I was all excited to watch the launch of the moon-bound Artemis 1 rocket this morning, only to see the clock stopped at T-minus 40 minutes because of a “hydrogen issue.” Don’t know about you, but I’m thinking having an issue with hydrogen is a…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Karen in Control ⌚Karting 🏎️What podcast? 🎧 In the winter of 1993, I went to a comedy club with a friend and, in the spur of the moment, decided to be one of those who came forward to join the fun and be hypnotized. This was decidedly out of character for…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Little League Flap ⚾Grandpa Joe 🤦Psychedelics 🍄 Boys are interesting creatures who aren’t easily understood. One of the many, many weird things boys do is mercilessly make fun of their best friends. My closest friends in middle school and early in high school were affectionately nicknamed Goon, Tree Frog, Butt and…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩 Death Cometh Sooner 💀Twitter Security 🔓Game Over 🌑 Average life expectancy in the United States dropped in 2020 by almost two years in 2020, the biggest decline since World War II. Every state and the District of Columbia saw a drop. Guess it was a little bit more than that…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Worm brain 🧠Chicken Big Mac 🐔Eye Twitch 👁️ Caenorhabditis elegans is probably too elegant of a name for something that is really just a disgusting little worm about a millimeter long and most easily found in rotting fruit. It is more commonly known as a lab roundworm and was the first…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Indycar 🏎️Best Friends 😎Baseball Irony ⚾ There are certain people who look at car racing as an endless series of left turns. These people are idiots on whom nuance is lost. Boy The Elder and I crossed the border yesterday late-morning to head just past the fine city of East St.…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Swine Inflation 🐖Swamp Thing 🎥Phone Calls 📱 Life was different when I went to college in Iowa after growing up in suburban New York City. This isn’t to suggest I was a city kid. I wasn’t. The city was a place we went to a few times a year, and where…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Triple-Threat 🖥️🖥️🖥️Tasmanian Tiger 🐅Video Work 📹 Humans were not meant to stare at laptop screens. At least, humans of a certain age were not meant to stare at laptop screens. I say this after successfully lobbying for a second monitor at work, which effectively turned my laptop screen into a third…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Look Before Brewing ☕Hoop Construction 🏀Nuclear War ☢️ If you’d like an indication of how much of a Monday yesterday was for me, know that I ended up with an orange in my coffee. Well, to be fair, it wasn’t a full-blown orange. It was something called a Cutie, which is…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Weird Date 🪦Nature Walk🌳Bulldog Bath 🐶 If you have a date walking around a cemetery, you’re either weird or goth, and neither Wifey Poo nor I were wearing black today, which I guess tells you all you need to know about us. Old cemeteries are something of a fascination for us,…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩So Long, Kid 👨👦Steak Celebration🥩Chip & Joanna 🪚 Regular readers of my drivel know that I’m kind of an emotional guy, which is like saying that Jack kind of could have fit on the spacious floating door with Rose in Titanic. So it should come as no surprise when I say…Keep reading