🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩
Thanks, Yankees ⚾
Kitchen Moment 👩🍳
McDonald’s Glasses 🥛
Wifey Poo and I were recent college graduates and months away from becoming Married Folk when our relationship nearly faced its greatest test.
The New York Yankees were rolling toward their first World Series appearance since I played with Matchbox Cars, and the St. Louis Cardinals seemed to be headed in the same direction.
It was 1996, and this situation was problematic.
Wifey Poo-to-be was and is a diehard Cardinals fan. I feel as if I practically grew up in the old Yankee Stadium. We both loved each other tremendously, but was it really enough to sustain us through a battle between our two teams that could have only one winner?
Thankfully, the Cardinals choked away a three-games-to-one lead vs. the Atlanta Braves in the National League Championship Series, losing three straight. The Yankees then disposed of the Braves in six to start a streak of four World Series titles in five years, including three straight, and Wifey Poo and I were married in a blissful ceremony the following March.
The following year, Major League Baseball started interleague play, and every so often, our two teams meet for a series of games with far less significance to the baseball world but enormous implications in our marriage. This weekend, my Yankees came to town to take on her Cardinals, and we were in attendance Friday night to watch the titanic struggle.
By the time the weekend was over, the Yankees had dropped all three games to the Cardinals, including an embarrassing 1-0 loss on Saturday in which a pitcher the Bronx Bombers traded the week before hurled a gem to completely shut down “our” offense.
Thanks, guys. Ugh.
There have been some seemingly really insignificant moments over the course of my family’s time together that have been just about perfect. Saturday evening was one of those times.
Wifey Poo had spent a busy day doing various cooking and baking projects in the kitchen. When Boy The Elder and I returned from an event we attended in St. Louis, she was in the middle of one of those stretches in which anything that can go wrong, does go wrong. There was a pile of spilled espresso on the floor, the kitchen overall looked as if a bomb had exploded in it, and Wifey Poo’s patience was, shall we say, stretched thin.
Over the course of the next few hours, the Core Four was at its best. BTE and I helped clean up the espresso issue, Boy The Younger appeared to help his older brother chop stuff for Texas caviar for a family event the next day, and everyone had a role in making sure the kitchen was cleaned up before we all retired for the day, an effort led by BTE that led me to once again marvel at his amazing work ethic.
During it all, I stood at the entrance to our kitchen, watching the chopping and the cleaning and the baking for a few moments, and I thought: “This is good.”
I love moments like that.
“Back in my day … “ If ever there were a phrase to denote an old person, there you have it. I find myself thinking and saying those words a lot lately. I miss the simplicity and small joys of the Old Days. Things like …
- Do you remember walking into McDonald’s or Burger King, ordering a meal, and coming home with a drinking glass? And not some cheap small thing either. A full-sized drinking glass made not of plastic but real freaking glass! The feeling of “Yes! It’s Grimace month!” cannot be overstated.
- The scent of a freshly opened baseball card pack. It was this mix of stale gum, cardboard and hope … hope that somewhere in the soon-to-be uncovered cards was that one you really, really needed to help you complete a team or even the entire set of that year’s cards. Now you can just go on Amazon and buy a whole set, and it doesn’t come with the stale bubble gum. Kinda boring, if you ask me.
- Boredom. No one truly likes commercials, do they? But they were a time to get things done. Grab a snack. Go to the bathroom. Change your clothes. Punch your sister. All before hurrying back as soon as you heard someone scream, “It’s back on!” Now, we dive into devices the moment there’s a break in the action, whether it’s on TV or if our date goes to the bathroom while at a restaurant. Gotta check Facebook Gotta post a photo Gotta check my email Gotta look at the news Gotta Tweet Gotta Text Gotta Gotta Gotta. Here’s a challenge: When life hands you a natural break in the action, spend time doing nothing. Let your brain rest. Let your mind wander. People watch. We’re a fascinating and often hilarious species to observe in our natural habitat.
The Top 5 Things You Will Learn If You Read This Entire Blog Jeopardy buzzers suck.To rule the world, you must start in Australia.Emus are the perfect killing machines.When you send out the military to kill birds, always send a cameraman.When nothing else works, build a wall. It’s time for Blog Jeopardy! Or as I…Keep reading
Today’s Reasons to Keep Living
- Fall weather has to be coming soon, right?
- Going to my first IndyCar race in a few weeks.
- Just bought the latest season of Better Call Saul to watch.
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🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Ear Flushing👂Grunge God🎶Tech Guy📺 If you have to have a doctor tell you a body part or yours is small, I suppose one of the least offensive would be the ear canal. That’s what a doctor told me this morning, after I finally broke down and actually went to said doctor’s…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Toys in the Hall🪅Idiot Governors🗳️Flopping FedEx✈️ Last night in my hotel in Springfield, Missourah, I set out a glass of milk and a plate of cookies before going to bed. It’s not that I don’t know how to read a calendar or have any particular belief in a fat man in…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Which One?🗺️Leave Introverts Alone🤫Oxford Commas🤪 I’m on the road for work this week, in Springfield. Ahhh, but Springfield what? There currently are 35 populated places in the United States named Springfield, spread out over 25 states, including five in Wisconsin. In addition, there are 35 Springfield Townships, and Ohio owns 11…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Surrounded 😷Wood Splitter 🌲Morons 🤪 I’ve had COVID. Twice. The first time fucked up my life for a year. I’m still not back to the me I was before it came into my home, and I’m pretty sure that now, nearly two years later, that’s not going to change. The second…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Sunday audible🤒Fantasy Failure 🏈Anal Chess♟️ Sunday was supposed to be a romantic day spent in a canoe with Wifey Poo, the two of us paddling leisurely down the Meramec River. Mother Nature was not in the mood to play wingman and decided to pick the one day in the midst of…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Finish Line Scene 🏃♂️Baseball’s Better ⚾M-I-Z! Z-O-UC-H! 🏈 I have never understood the modern-day purpose of running for the sake of running. Sure, I understand it’s a great form of cardiovascular exercise and it’s a convenient way to get from Point A to Point B, yet the desire to strap on…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Book Guy 📚Queen Stuff 👑Bernard Shaw 📺 I’ve decided I want to own a copy of every Stephen King book ever written. That’s about 75 books at the moment. I have a built-in bookcase in my mancave/home office. I don’t think it would hold all 75 in hardcover, but perhaps it…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Beginnings 📚School Start 🚌Real Baseball ⚾ I was thinking this morning on my drive to work how we rarely know when the significant times in our lives begin. So frequently, the most important things that happen to us start with nothing noteworthy. Of course, there are exceptions, the “love-at-first-sight” moments or…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Fallin’ Thoughts 🤕Shinedown 🎸Sleepy 😴 The brain can be surprisingly efficient when the meatsack it’s attached to is in the middle of falling off a ladder while holding a revved-up chainsaw. This, I learned yesterday morning while attempting to saw a limb off a tree that was getting way too close…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Overview📅Fantasy Football🏈Elite Bonding🤼♂️ Days that start with chainsaws and lighter fluid and end with four hours of really good professional wrestling are bound to be added to the “good” column for review when the scales are weighed at the end of a life. Yesterday was such a day for me. In…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Funeral 😢Glimmers ☁️Meat 🥩 If you’re lucky, you’ve had a second mother. Whether your first mother was or is an amazing person who nurtured you and raised you among calm consistency or if she was lacking in certain maternal fundamentals, having a second mother is a blessing. Today, we were there…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩We’re Dumber 👎OnlyFans Thrives 🍑Shinedown 🎵 Official statistics put the COVID death toll in the United States at 1.04 million, with another 713 deaths yesterday. More than 4,000 people are in the ICU right now suffering from what the former Moron-in-Chief called that one person coming from China and a situation…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Dethroned Queen 👑Gravy Wrestling 🤼♂️Dog Talk 🐕 Don’t fuck with the Bucyrus Bratwurst Festival board. That’s a message Abigail Brocwell is learning the hard way. Brocwell was expected to be inaugurated as the queen of the festival in the northern Ohio town earlier this month, but she was stripped of the…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩3, Unassisted ⚾A Sad Day 📅Tracking Your Vagina 🌸 The last time Boy The Younger was on a baseball field, the “coach” of his team removed him from a game in the middle of an inning because I had privately messaged him to not attempt to steal home with my kid…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Hydrogen Issue 🚀Karting 🏎️Lake Life 😌 I was all excited to watch the launch of the moon-bound Artemis 1 rocket this morning, only to see the clock stopped at T-minus 40 minutes because of a “hydrogen issue.” Don’t know about you, but I’m thinking having an issue with hydrogen is a…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Karen in Control ⌚Karting 🏎️What podcast? 🎧 In the winter of 1993, I went to a comedy club with a friend and, in the spur of the moment, decided to be one of those who came forward to join the fun and be hypnotized. This was decidedly out of character for…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Little League Flap ⚾Grandpa Joe 🤦Psychedelics 🍄 Boys are interesting creatures who aren’t easily understood. One of the many, many weird things boys do is mercilessly make fun of their best friends. My closest friends in middle school and early in high school were affectionately nicknamed Goon, Tree Frog, Butt and…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩 Death Cometh Sooner 💀Twitter Security 🔓Game Over 🌑 Average life expectancy in the United States dropped in 2020 by almost two years in 2020, the biggest decline since World War II. Every state and the District of Columbia saw a drop. Guess it was a little bit more than that…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Worm brain 🧠Chicken Big Mac 🐔Eye Twitch 👁️ Caenorhabditis elegans is probably too elegant of a name for something that is really just a disgusting little worm about a millimeter long and most easily found in rotting fruit. It is more commonly known as a lab roundworm and was the first…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩The Agliata Homeschool Academy 🚌Hypnosis 😳Sunburn 🌞🔥 When you tell people you homeschool your children, you typically receive one of three responses: An enthusiastic: “Oh, that’s so cool!”An I’d-rather-be-dipped-in-acid: “Oh wow! I could never do that!” A you’re-one-of-those-weirdos: “Oh… really… homeschooling, huh?” The percentage for each has changed in the wake…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Indycar 🏎️Best Friends 😎Baseball Irony ⚾ There are certain people who look at car racing as an endless series of left turns. These people are idiots on whom nuance is lost. Boy The Elder and I crossed the border yesterday late-morning to head just past the fine city of East St.…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Swine Inflation 🐖Swamp Thing 🎥Phone Calls 📱 Life was different when I went to college in Iowa after growing up in suburban New York City. This isn’t to suggest I was a city kid. I wasn’t. The city was a place we went to a few times a year, and where…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Triple-Threat 🖥️🖥️🖥️Tasmanian Tiger 🐅Video Work 📹 Humans were not meant to stare at laptop screens. At least, humans of a certain age were not meant to stare at laptop screens. I say this after successfully lobbying for a second monitor at work, which effectively turned my laptop screen into a third…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Look Before Brewing ☕Hoop Construction 🏀Nuclear War ☢️ If you’d like an indication of how much of a Monday yesterday was for me, know that I ended up with an orange in my coffee. Well, to be fair, it wasn’t a full-blown orange. It was something called a Cutie, which is…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Weird Date 🪦Nature Walk🌳Bulldog Bath 🐶 If you have a date walking around a cemetery, you’re either weird or goth, and neither Wifey Poo nor I were wearing black today, which I guess tells you all you need to know about us. Old cemeteries are something of a fascination for us,…Keep reading
🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩So Long, Kid 👨👦Steak Celebration🥩Chip & Joanna 🪚 Regular readers of my drivel know that I’m kind of an emotional guy, which is like saying that Jack kind of could have fit on the spacious floating door with Rose in Titanic. So it should come as no surprise when I say…Keep reading