I Hate Robert Gaskins – Sept. 8, 2021

I spent a half-hour today renewing my hatred for Robert Gaskins. Don’t know who Robert Gaskins is? I wish I didn’t, too. Robert Gaskins is the principle inventor of PowerPoint. He sold his little tool of the devil to Microsoft in 1987.

QAnon Crazies love to point the finger at Bill Gates and say he’s using COVID vaccines to implant tracking devices into the citizenry. Sane people know that’s nuts. What is far more likely is that he sprinkled McDonald’s fries with some brain-altering substance to convince a generation of presenters that they absolutely positively must use PowerPoint if they are standing in front of three or more people.

Today, I sat through 30 minutes of a man saying, “And my next slide says…” before reading the teenie-tiny plentiful print projected on the screen in front of us. I will spare you from my full and patent-pending anti-PowerPoint rant. But I will say that if you’re going to give a presentation and are thinking about relying on PowerPoint, just don’t. Hardly anyone uses it correctly, and if you’re not using it correctly — as a visual aid to amplify one key thing per slide — you’re dividing your audience’s attention and are responsible for their neck pain that night from all the time they spent looking at their phones instead of at you!

F you, Robert Gaskins.

The ‘Don’t Blame Me, I Didn’t Say It’ of the Day

“[W]e’re starting with a trust deficit that we need to compensate.”

David Marcus, new head of Facebook’s digital wallet project

… and while we’re talking about evil little pieces of technology, let’s talk about Facebook. What casual observers see as a company that helps them connect to old high school friends and stalk the hot guy at work is actually an information-gathering juggernaut that routinely violates your privacy, apologizes, pays fines that seem astronomical but really are just couch change to them, and five minutes later does the same thing again — or worse.

Now they want to create a digital wallet as a means of ultimately introducing their own digital currency. Mr. Marcus seems to recognize that selling this plan to lawmakers who already are frothing at the idea of breaking them into Ma Bell-sized pieces might be a bit of a challenge. Let’s hope he’s right.

Why You Should Delete All Your Social Media Accounts Right Now (And Why You Won’t)

“… to give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected.” Facebook mission statement The time companies spend crafting mission statements is staggeringly stupid when you transform the hours into the dollars being paid to the people around the table (or, as of late, in the Zoom). I have beenContinue reading “Why You Should Delete All Your Social Media Accounts Right Now (And Why You Won’t)”

I’ve Found My Next Car

Today on the drive to Boy The Younger’s baseball game, we passed this:

That’s a Lambourghini Huracan. It produces more than 600 horsepower, goes from 0 to 60 in 2.5 seconds and starts at more than $200,000. We were in a Nissan Versa. It convinces 109 horses to pull it forward, goes from 0 to 60 at some point during the week and can be purchased for what the guy in the Huracan has in his wallet. How frustrating for him that I took this picture while we were passing him on I-70. Poor guy.

Today’s Reasons to Keep Living

  1. That first scent of fall in the air.
  2. Passing a high-powered sports car in your crappy Nissan Versa.
  3. A cleansing, deep breath.

More From ‘A Puzzle Known As Life’

Grandpa — May 17, 2022

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Sad Anniversary😞My Back! 😳Dachau😭 Thirty-five years ago today, my first grandparent died. Grandpa was my favorite grandparent, and in looking back, I think it was because of his willingness to join my world. Grandpa played games with me endlessly. He taught me how to play rummy. He would spend hours onContinue reading “Grandpa — May 17, 2022”

Family — May 13, 2022

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Double-U🧸Big Sis 🦸‍♀️Preggo Healer 🤰 Anyone remember Speak & Spell? If you’ve seen E.T., you’ve seen it before. Don’t know why, but I was thinking about this toy the other day. For some reason, spelling wasn’t school if you had one of these things to play with. I can still hearContinue reading “Family — May 13, 2022”

Gambling — May 8, 2022

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Losing Money 🥊The Best F’N Mom Ever👩Heat 🥵 Wifey Poo and I took our weekly date Saturday and went to the city made famous in the original National Lampoon’s Vacation movie: East St. Louis. No, East St. Louis isn’t in Missouri and no, it’s not a popular data destination, but whatContinue reading “Gambling — May 8, 2022”

It’s the End of the World As We Know It — April 19, 2022

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩 Why We Suck🤡No Finishing Power🔚McReally? 🍔 The world is dumb, and America is the leading idiot. I don’t reach this conclusion with any sort of glee. It’s simply what I see. Societies hold together because of three things. Shared stories Strong institutions Social networks that engender trust. The past 10Continue reading “It’s the End of the World As We Know It — April 19, 2022”

Off — Dec. 6, 2021

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Detached 💭Intentions for a New Year 📆Red is Deadly 😷 Today sucked. The problem is, I don’t really know what the hell happened. I woke up just after 6, later than I have been recently, and I felt so significantly off that I truly don’t remember much of the first 45Continue reading “Off — Dec. 6, 2021”

Big Buck — Nov. 14, 2021

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Oh Deer 🦌The Thought Gap 🧠Unplugged 🔌 I was sitting in my as-yet-to-be-named home office this morning when this big boy ☝️☝️☝️ walked out of the woods into my yard. It’s the opening day of deer season in Missourah, a day of significance for many local inhabitants on par with theirContinue reading “Big Buck — Nov. 14, 2021”

Sloth Talk — Nov. 8, 2021

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩What Makes a Sloth a Sloth? 🦥Launch Day is Nigh 🚀Talkin’ Free Speech 🎙️ I find myself going down some interesting rabbit holes lately. For example, tonight I wondered why exactly sloths are so slow and how exactly such a creature could survive in a survival-of-the-fittest world, especially when they liveContinue reading “Sloth Talk — Nov. 8, 2021”

Punk! — Nov. 5, 2021

🧩 Today’s Puzzle Pieces 🧩Wrasslin’ 🤼‍♂️Wifey Poo 🦶Costco 🛒 Boy The Younger and I found ourselves this evening in the most difficult-to-spell-without-looking-it-up building in the Midwest, Chaifetz Arena, home of the Midwest’s most-weirdly named college basketball team, the St. Louis University Billikens. But we weren’t there for hoops. We were there to watch the oddContinue reading “Punk! — Nov. 5, 2021”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: