Storm Brewing – Aug. 27, 2021

And the Thunder Rolls

My desk at my new office faces out to a busy street – Manchester Avenue – and has a floor-to-ceiling window. I’m absolutely loving it. At my previous job, my desk was tucked away in a corner behind a cube. I called it “My Hovel.” It was a good place to retreat to, but not a great inspiration for creativity. Today, I watched as a thunderstorm formed and unleashed its fury all afternoon. It wasn’t a really bad thunderstorm. It was actually kind of beautiful.


What About Bob?

My wife and I have been having threesomes for about six months now. Every night, she and I crawl into bed, and then I welcome Bob to join us. He crawls up on my face and then jams himself into my nostrils. Oh. Wait. Yeah, so you probably need to know that Bob is what I named the machine that helps me not die from sleep apnea. I have a tendency to name objects that come into my life … cars, pens, the Thanksgiving Day turkey. So when I got this thing back in March or April, I thought that if it was going to be sleeping with us every night, I might as well name it. Tomorrow I have to return Bob. My severe obstructive sleep apnea has morphed into the delightful combination of severe obstructive sleep apnea and central sleep apnea, the latter condition being when your brain just simply doesn’t tell your body to keep breathing. Lovely, right? There’s a different machine that is supposed to help with central sleep apnea, so last night we welcomed what is for now being called New Bob into our marital bed. Thanks for the memories, Old Bob. It’s not you. It’s me.


Speaking of Bob …

I had the thought this morning while I was sitting there watching my ozone-infused blood being dripped back into my arm that the world would be a better place if Steve Irwin hadn’t gone snorkeling that day and if those cancer cells had formed in Donald Trump instead of Bob Ross.


The ‘Don’t Blame Me, I Didn’t Say It’ of the Day

‘Something has to be done about this.’

Dr. Rochelle Walensky, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, speaking to CNN about Gun Violence

No shit, Sherlock. If I had a dime for every public official who’s uttered this line since Columbine, well, I’d have a crapton of dimes. Here’s the reality: Our country is hopelessly divided and devoid of the ability to have rational discourse. Our national politicians are bought and paid for by special interests. And those most affected by gun violence don’t vote in a large enough consolidated group to make elected officials truly care. We have zero shot of actually putting a helpful “something” into action. Maybe we could agree on a federally funded program that distributes bulletproof vests to our kids when they enter kindergarten?


Dinner Decisions

Wifey-Poo and Boy the Younger were out when I came home from work tonight at BTY’s cross-country practice, so I put my work crap down and went right into the kitchen. Not a good decision. By the time the honey-glazed pork chops and mashed potatoes were on the plate, I’d sliced my finger with a knife and spilled some of said honey glaze on my khaki pants. Note to self: Next time, take a few deep breaths, and change your clothes first.


Today’s Reasons to Keep Living

  1. The beauty of a summer afternoon thunderstorm forming in front of you.
  2. That somewhere in human history, a person figured out that if you took what came out of a chicken and cracked it on a surface placed over heat, it would turn into something edible.
  3. A dual-monitor computer setup.

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Sloth Talk — Nov. 8, 2021

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