Mr. Fix-It – Aug. 14, 2021

Begone, Cabinet!

There was a time not long ago when I had zero self-confidence with home repair or renovation projects. It seemed as if every time I tried something, I made the situation worse and often a lot worse. This runs counter to my DNA, as my father is constantly tinkering with things and fixing them. I grew up watching this and occasionally assisting him, but I don’t think I ever actually learned anything. My fault, not his.

Then we decided we were going to sell our house. I don’t know what made me start doing home repair projects to get the house ready for the market. One day I just decided, “Yeah, I could fix the garage fire tape thingy.” So I did.

Next I painted part of the house.

Then I started pressure washing anything that had a speck of grime on it.

I stripped paint off the deck (with only one not-so-minor head wound to show for it), and rigged up a new way to turn the basement light on. I replaced a freaking light fixture and a faulty light switch in the same day without electricuting myself or burning the house down.

And so we awoke this morning in our new house to realize we hate the fridge that’s there. The freezer is small and on the bottom and it just doesn’t work for us. We love the fridge in our old house (well, as much as anyone can truly love a fridge, I guess). The problem is that it is an inch too tall to fit under a section of cabinet in the new house.

So I asked myself… “What if I just remove that section of cabinet?” We are going to be renovating the kitchen at some point anyway, so what’s the worst I could do? Twenty minutes, four screws and some hammering later, the cabinets were detached from the wall. I held them aloft like I was presenting Simba to the assembled masses.

I’m now fairly certain I could do anything, as long as I have the proper tools. Whether I should do some of those anythings is a different matter.

We’re doing the fridge exchange tomorrow morning.

A Hot Stock Tip!

If you’ve got some money to invest, might I suggest Home Depot? My entrance into the world of home improvement is surely going to boost their sales. I love love love that they have curbside pickup because I hate hate hate wandering around a cavernous home improvement store searching for the things I need. Plus, when I pick stuff up on weekends, the dude brings me a free bottle of cold water. Win.

‘Don’t Blame Me, I Didn’t Say It’ of the Day

‘Counting all the assholes in the room, well, I’m definitely not alone.’


New Job Nerves

I start a new job in less than two days. I feel completely unprepared for this. I imagine it’s normal to be nervous about starting a new job. I just happen to be doing it after the longest series of stressful events in my life. We’re talking constant crap that dates back to November 2020. I absolutely cannot screw this up.

Today’s Reason to Keep Living

We are not exactly in a good position to be able to cook anything today, so I swung by Chick-Fil-A to pick up a mobile order after my latest Home Depot run. Got back to the house and … what the hell? No fries. I have had about two straight months of bad customer service experiences that actually started with Chick-Fil-A, took a really nasty turn with CenturyLink and most recently involved an Uber Eats driver who delivered our food to the wrong house. I am a bit on edge when it comes to bad customer service, you could safely say.

So I took a few deep breaths because, duh, it’s only fries, and called to see if they’d deliver me some fries. I know that’s annoying, but so is not getting the fries you paid for. I was pleasant and fully ready for him to tell me “No.”

A half-hour later, boom! Fresh fries delivered to my doorstep.

America. What a country.

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